Ed's FAQ Jan 11-20, 2016

Contributors Say

Ed Says

Jan 20, 2016

SVO-P and Children

Ed,

I want to teach to my son of 3 years and half old the principle of SVO-p without "Be". He is on is period of "I am...". Oooops, I' ve just used the verb to be.

I mean he now uses a lot the verb "to be" as " I am..." ; walking on the street he says " this man is very fat...", "waouh, this car is beautiful"...

Please do you have some advices??

Thank you

Thank you for sharing your process and for raising this issue.

In TTP we use SVO-p to help locate and to clarify our thinking - and to honor each other with rich, clear and emotionally expressive language.

For example, I can say,

"I'm in a band."

If I eliminate the "am" in "I'm," the sentence falls apart. This motivates an examination of the elements of my actual experience.

"I like the feelings I get during a jam session as we take our turns. I like to take the lead and I also like to lay back while someone else takes the lead. As we go round-and-round, I get a deep sense of mutual respect and cooperation as we all hang out together on the edge of now and co-create a common and deeply intimate expression."

Language that supports communicating deep and emotionally rich experience also helps build rapport, as you reveal a little more of your unique personality to others.

In applying TTP outside of Tribe meetings, we do not force others to use SVO-p or other Tribe processes.

If you would teach SVO-p to children, you might do so gently, and by example.

You might follow on with "I wonder how you feel about fat people ... and what you like about the car."

You might also share your feeling, using SVO-p, about <fat> and <cars>.

Forcing children to follow rules mostly teaches them how to force people to follow rules.

Forcing Kids to Eat Broccoli

Teaches them a lot about forcing
and little about broccoli.

http://www.sodahead.com/fun/should-parents-force-
children-to-eat-certain-types-of-food/question-2718521/

Jan 19, 2016

TTP and Family Dynamics

Hi Ed,

I feel a sense of floaty anticipation in my forehead as I check FAQ and see no update yet for 2016.

I continue to feel the positive impact of Tribe, the PR Tribe in particular and the relationships that I enjoy with fellow Tribe members. The positive feelings seem to be present throughout my life, a warm light in my chest, calmly glowing.

When I pause to consider my life as it relates to Tribe, I also continue to notice greater intimacy building in my relationships with my wife, and children and greater feeling of satisfaction in rendering service to others through my work.

This is a trend that coincides with the beginning of the San Juan Tribe.

Lately, "stressful" situations just seem to lead me to ask myself what about them I wanted and how I engineer them. Sometimes I find I’m asking myself these questions and feeling the answers while the situations are unfolding. From personal life to work, the stressful situations seem more and more transitory and separate from "me", less painful more intentional. I get to choose what to do and choose while considering my intensions. Heart Rock works.

For example:

Recently I notice that my wife and I reflect on an ongoing, stressful situation between my ex wife and us regarding custody of my daughter. As the situation develops, my wife asks me if I have considered that maybe I want the situation, maybe all four of us do...

This leads my wife and I to a very pro-active way of managing our behavior and we end up having a laugh as we navigate what has previously been an unpleasant drama for us. We recognize how we use the drama to feel alienated from each other, trapped, interfered with and alone. By looking at intentions = results or results = intentions we begin diffuse the drama by sharing our feelings, in the now, and grow closer in the process.

I notice that my daughter is growing notably less anxious and more engaged as well. As I write this, the objective facts of the situation remain more or less unchanged yet our perceptions of the situation and the feelings are very different and surprisingly positive. I sense a positive resolution is imminent.
The Tribe work we did on confrontation and avoiding conflict and keeping commitments is also showing up in my results. I've re-designed a first new iteration my website after years of procrastination and taken care of many loose ends with taxes, accounting and planning that I previously avoided.

I feel warm feelings and a smile on my face as I think of you and the massive contribution you have made to my life and so many others.

I hope that you are well and that you are realizing your snapshot and engaged in the supportive relationships you want to have. I would like you to know that you may call on me for support of your process any time.

Thank you.

Thank you for sharing your process, and your progress and for acknowledging the work.

Jan 19, 2016

They Just Don't Get It

Ed,

Pretty well everyone in my Tribes seems to get the idea of the original hot seat process. Ramp up the feeling with the support of the tribe, reach a peak of intensity and experience an 'aha' or perhaps catharsis. Some people feel reluctant to fully experience the feeling and may snap out of that, but we understand that easily as unwillingness or fear.

The rocks process is a different matter. Some people just oppose it and cannot say why. Others say they "just don't get it".

I always assume this happens also due to unwillingness or fear, or perhaps they don't want their bad acting skills exposed. Recently I come across a set of ideas that seem to help explain it, from a suggestion by a friend - Robert Kegan's theory of cognitive development.

There are summaries -

here https://josephg.com/blog/
kegans-social-developmental-milestones/

and here https://meaningness.wordpress.com/
2015/10/12/developing-ethical-social-
and-cognitive-competence/

and even a short - 90 minutes to read - book summarizing them here
http://www.amazon.com.au/
gp/product/B006F631FY

"The Discerning Heart: The Developmental Psychology of Robert Kegan" by Philip M Lewis.

Very briefly and crudely the scheme consists of 6 levels with some similarites with Piaget's scheme:

Level 0: infant as undifferentiated mas of feelings, unaware of his/herself as a separate being

Level 1: small child aware of others but in thrall to his/her own feelings.

Level 2: primary school to early teenager - aware of others but largely sees others as means to its own ends. Loves others for what they do for the person. Has trouble taking very seriously his/her own feelings at other times than now eg it would be good to go to bed now or you feel tired in the morning.

Level 3: later teenager to adult - fully buys into others as feeling beings, can think about him/herself at other times and that can be as real as current feelings. Can work for long term objectives because how they expect to feel after graduating is very real to them, experiences romantic love, very invested in the opinions of the peer group, often very idealistic etc.

However the person is still within those feelings and has difficulty thinking about them very clearly. People at this level tend to mirror peer group opinions very closely, have trouble saying 'no' to demands from other people, and tend to expect that a romantic partner will be totally compatible and will share all opinions and interests. These people tend also to be highly invested in one or more demanding and intense social environments such as the teenage peer group.

Level 4: later adult (~50% of adults reach this level) - still fully engaged with his/her feelings but able to step back and think about them more clearly. Comfortable with a romantic relationship where there are differences. Able to have their own opinions distinct from the peer group. Able to think about how they feel - not totally enmeshed in them. An example might be a person who can make a difficult decision to have a pet put down when its suffering becomes too much for the pet. A level 3 person may be unable to let the pet go.

Level 5 is a more advanced level and less clearly defined; not much relevant to this email.

I think that perhaps the rocks process requires elements of level 4 thinking. When going through this process you need to step outside how you feel in the primal situation and say "Actually I would like to feel and to process these events differently". If you are fully embedded in these feelings, this would seem inconceivable and would not make sense. Other participants also need to understand this to various degrees.

I think most of my tribe members including me function at level 3.x, mostly close enough to 4 to get through the rocks process, but perhaps the reason some can't is that they are closer to level 3.

Kegan has a book to assist with evaluating people, but generally other people are pretty easy to evaluate. As always do-it-myself is a lot harder. Most people think they are at a higher level than they are actually at.

I am looking for tools to help people develop these skills. Kegan's book "The Evolving Self: Problem and Process in Human Development" has some material on this particularly in the chapter about adult education.

Another possible approach would be to find a way to get people through the process while somehow shielding them from these more complex ideas.

Currently our tribe is in recess and we resume again in February 2016. Some of us are having a snapshot session next week.

May you have a healthy, successful and happy 2016.

Thank you for raising these issues.

Currently, in TTP we use the Zero-Point Process (abreaction and catharsis) sparingly and mostly as a didactic example.

I recall in early Tribe work, people using Zero-Point medicinally, to make feelings go away, at least for a while.

This leads to people showing up, meeting after meeting with signature forms, ready to express their way through to catharsis.

Currently, we use the first part of the Zero-Point process pro-actively, to ramp up feelings. We then interrupt the process and ask the client to freeze his feelings so as to identify a critical event, locate rocks and, ultimately, to reprogram them.

For more on these developments, see TTP Extensions, available as a free download on this site and also as a hard-copy pamphlet in the store.

I do not notice people in my Tribes opposing the Rocks process or saying "they just don't get it" or citing "fear of exposing acting skills" or resorting to theories to explain "it."

Mostly, people must demonstrate willingness and motivation to gain an invitation to attend my Tribe meetings; once they show up, they get right into it, deeply and productively.

The Process Manager runs the process according to the plan, and without trying to manage the client's feelings, such as "providing tools," or "helping people get through the process," or "shielding them from ideas."

You might consider taking your feelings about <managing other peoples' feelings> and <letting the process run out of control> to Tribe as entry points.

Jan 18, 2016

Factoring In

Hello Ed.

when deciding on whether to do a trade do you factor in whether a currency is weak or strong

Thank you for raising this issue.

The methods, "deciding on whether" and "factoring in" pertain to discretionary trading, fundamental analysis and guessing.

In Systematic Trend Trading, we stick to the system and keep pulling the trigger, regardless of what we think and feel about the markets.

Jan 18, 2016

Managing Anger

Hi Chief,

I think I found the answer for my previous question.

I realize that the harsh strong tone and facial expression I use to express my anger might actually keep people from acknowledging my unhappiness feelings.

It actually triggers people's fear, resentment and draw their attention away from listening to my unhappiness. I shoot my own foot in this way.

So my work is to find out the optimal risk, in the form of tone, voice, facial expression, to best share my unhappiness feelings. It's somewhere between timid and bold. Being sincere probably is more efficient than being harsh.

And the focus must be to share my feelings and seek acknowledgement of feeling itself, not for using it to control or change other people's decision.

Thanks,

Thank you for sharing your process and your insights.

According to Joan Rivers, "Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief, and, most of all, fear."

In TTP, we hold anger as the feeling that associates with boundary violation. We have a choice. We can react to anger medicinally, typically through acts of violence or rage; we can react to anger pro-actively, by establishing rapport and sharing underlying feelings.

Some People Scream and Yell
and accuse and attack ...

http://www.glennbigonet.com/AngerManagement.htm

... while other people
establish rapport

and share underlying feelings.

http://www.yourtango.com/experts/ms-kristina-marchant/
how-share-your-negative-feelings-and-bring-him-closer

While The Rest of Us

just keep working our way
along the path.

http://beforeitsnews.com/libertarian/
2013/04/sharing-feelings-2497812.html

Jan 17, 2016

Orlando Tribe Information Update

Chief,

Hope all is well with you. Please up-date the Orlando Trading Tribe info as attached.

Thank you!

Thank for keeping your Tribe Information up to date for the TT Tribe Directory.

Jan 15, 2016

Blast From the Past

Dear Ed,

I met you in Larkspur at a seminar in 1989 or 1990. Also met [Name] then. I took your advice and found my own path. I credit your 1% bet with allowing me to succeed. Just thought I would check in and say thank you. While I don't do the breathing meditation you had us work on, I do practice yoga as well exercise as much as possible. If you are ever in Chicago please look me up. Hope you are well and are enjoying life and the markets are good to you. Best

Thank you for sharing your process and for acknowledging the work.

Jan 13, 2016

Breathwork

Ed,

I am a new fan of TT and just joined the Orlando Tribe. I have read your TT book and I am going through your FAQ's. Thank you for all your help. You are doing a massively good thing for the world. I am very hopeful of new insights from your FAQs and the Tribe. I have been meditating for quite a few years and found it to be useful to help with relaxation and introspection.

I have rarely found it to help with the type of deep insights and breakthroughs that Tribe members accomplish. Essentially it is a DIM process.

I have been reading references to Breathwork. I want to learn more about this. Should this be done through the books you recommend or is there a better way to learn?

Thanks,

Thank you for raising this issue.

You can find many references to Breathwork on the Web.

Occasionally, I host a TT Breathwork, similar to Grof-Style Breathwork, with the addition of some Tribe-specific goal-centric group-support methods.

Jan 11, 2015

Wants to Join

Hello Mr. Seykota

... I live in Mississauga Ontario, Canada I became aware of the tribe groups by reading the book Trend Followers.

I would like to joint a tribe but I am not sure if there is one in Canada.

I would appreciated if you could response to me and provide me with information of how to joint.

Thank you for raising this issue.

You can check the Tribe Directory for listings near you.

You may also start your own Tribe.

Jan 11, 2016

Experience of Hitting a Truck

Hi Chief,

In the afternoon of the same day I send you this email about process of death experience, I get into a car accident.

It is raining and I am making a right turn on a non-stop/yielding right turn ramp, and am watching the through traffic on the left.

The truck in front of me makes a sudden slow down and I hit its rear end.

My Fred detects the danger and start stepping hard on the brake while my mind still watching if there's traffic on the other merging lane on the left. I stomp the brake to the end and can't stop the skid. I watch myself hitting the truck before me. At that moment, I feel powerless, helpless, frustration and sadness of ruining my generally good driving record. But not much fear.

Thanks,

Thank you for sharing your process.

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