Results - from Lonely to Full
I'd like to share some results from a recent Tribe Meeting - during
which I work on loneliness issues.
Almost immediately after the meeting, I notice things changing.
Friends start dropping by for a visit - and to connect and
catch up on each others' lives. The connections seem unusually caring
Surprisingly, I also get a lot of invitations to go out to parties and
events. I even have to decline some offers on account
ofhaving a full calendar.
I find myself meeting new and interesting people, almost effortlesly.
Best of all most everyone I meet seems open and kind.
you for sharing your process - and results.
Results - Calm and Connecting
I wish to share results I see showing up in my life after the Tribe
Meeting. Upon arriving home I feel surprise at the level of calm and
peace in my home. Weekend afternoons are usually hectic, with lots of
excitement for me and my young children, and occasional bickering and
whining by all.
I feel delight to learn my son, who sometimes likes to hide and act
shy, chooses to recite a passage in a large group. This occurs after
our Tribe Meeting, and before I return home. Not surprisingly, my main
issue at tribe involves "hiding".
On weekdays I usually shut myself away in my office to work. Completely
out of fashion, I invite a family member to visit and share feelings
about a dispute. I view our meeting as a gift. Previously I view it as
an interruption in my work day. I notice sharing feelings about the
dispute "takes a load off" and help me work more effectively.
I find myself with a new, deep desire to receive and share feelings
with everyone I encounter. I call on several prospective clients today.
The thought is "who else can I call" rather than "ugh who else do I
have to call". I sense my own healing just by receiving their feelings.
As I receive, the same feelings in me pass through and get set free.
you for sharing your process - and results.
|Dec 9, 2015
How To Start
you for your response. I am near [City], how do I go
about taking my feelings about <actually starting to trade>
to Tribe as an entry point?
Thank you again.
|Thank you for raising this issue.
You might consider reading through FAQ to get an idea how the system works.
You might also consider reading The Trading Tribe - see Resources, above.
Deviation - from Trading
I hope you are well.
Do you have any sites you recommend for use of standard deviation in
trading.? also- do you think becoming a Chartered Market
Technician would make a big difference in trading?
Thank you for your help.
you for raising this issue.
You might consider taking your feelings about <actually starting
trade> to Tribe as an entry point.
I feel a surge of warmth in my face and my eyes get watery as I think
about how much kindness you show me over the years. From very first
time we meet almost seven years ago, you show very deep caring about me
and my feelings.
Thank you so much for inviting me into your home again, hosting the
Tribe meeting, breakfast and dinner. And thank you for jamming with me,
and inviting me to the Wimberley Jam. I feel warm and welcome at the
jam, and it really lives up to your description.
I plan on sending a full Tribe report before the end of the week. I
already notice changes and still feel very much in process.
for our recordings. I really enjoy & might have to "borrow"
your lick around 1:12 on the Whipsaw Song.
you for attending the Tribe Meeting and for sending me the recordings
of our post-Tribe-meeting musical meanderings.
- A Healing Hug
I come to the meeting with a lot of motivation - and support from
friends who suggest areas for improvement - and from my sister who
encourages me and helps me recall some of our early family dynamics.
I take the Hotseat with the issue of wanting to have have great a
The PM asks me to show the form of wanting this. I hunch over in my
chair and extend my arms out in front of me, reaching for someone,
finding nothing but air at the ends of my fingers. I begin sobbing.
The PM encourages me to go deeper. I notice a longing to
connect with my mother.
The PM asks me to recall an incident and this takes me right back into
childhood. When I open my eyes I see my Tribe members, now in
roles as my mother, grandmother and grandfather - and all sitting in
the room in front of me.
My grandfather teaches me that the way to deal with the women in the
household includes saying some form of "yes dear" and then doing
whatever you want to do instead. He also shows me how to shut
down my feelings and to appear to not care. By example, he seems to
direct me to treat women with suspicion and disdain.
tell him I appreciate that he wants to inform me and to protect me -
and that I'd rather use a different method, namely: establish rapport
and share feelings.
Then we get to the main event, including me trying to get some
affection and caring from my mother. I try various strategies to get
affection from her. Nothing seems to work.
Seeing my frustration, the PM jumps in and offers to model it for me.
I accept his offer and watch as he tries to get affection
from her, alternatively demanding affection, pretending not
to care and following after her. He winds up angry and expressing
I say, "Wow, you got it. You got how I do it." I consider his
showing me how I do it a huge gift, full of insights.
With this information, something clicks and I know what to do. I reach
out to my mother and ask her to hold on a minute and to let me know she
cares about me.
She says, dismissively, that of course she does - and then adds we
have to run along now and do some errands.
I connect with her and look into her eyes and I say I want more; I want
her to help me feel, in my heart, that she cares.
With that, she approaches me and gives me a hug and tells me that she
hears what I want and that she does not know how to do it.
She says that she would like to to learn how to do it,
working together with me.
Then she gives me a hug and tells me she loves me, her son.
At that point I begin wailing. I stand there, feeling her
arms around me, soaking up the hug I can now feel after a lifetime of
longing for it.
The hug seems to go on a long time, quenching a long-standing thirst,
like rain finally falling on a dry desert after decades of drought. I
feel complete and I feel something long dormant starting to grow in me.
I also know the hug works both ways and helps to heal her, too.
After that hug, I feel quite different - like in a trance - and I still
feel that way.
Lately, friends report that I seem more accessible and more supportive
and less critical of them.
I have a sense that, finally, after all these years, I have some idea
how a relationship and affection might all fit together.
And, incidentally, I get another benefit. I notice much less
interest in getting close to people who do not have the ability or
desire to help me feel, in my heart, that they care about me.
I thank my Tribe and my PM for running this process with me - and my
dear friends for helping me see areas for improvement - and my sister
for encouraging me and helping me recall our family dynamics.
you for sharing your process.
- Five Hotseats
At our recent Tribe Meeting, all five participants arrive ready to take
the hot seat, by agreement.
would like to report, briefly, on the five processes while I still have
them fresh in mind - and follow up with more details later.
Hotseat complains about his inability to lose weight.
follow his forms to a critical incident in which his father spanks him
- and scolds him for making a mess. Hot seat shuts down and
learns to stuff his feeling of anger and resentment.
the process, Hotseat learns to establish rapport with his father and to
ask his father how he feels. His father accepts the
stops beating his son and stats communicates his frustration
Hotseat notices he no longer has to use food to stuff down his feelings.
Hotseat complains about her difficulty in receiving gifts and her
frustration that people don't say what they think.
follow her forms to a critical incident in which Hotseat tells her
mother that she wants to grow up as a fashion model. Her mother scolds
her, telling her she doesn't have enough height, beauty or brains to
seek that career. Hotseat cries, curls up in a ball and goes
to her room and falls asleep in her bed.
process, Hotseat learns to establish rapport with her mother and to ask
her how she feels. Her mother tells her she only wants to
her daughter. Hotseat explains that she wants her mother's support in
exploring interesting life choices and in having adventures. Her mother
comes around to support her daughter in developing her own
sovereignty. She hugs her daughter and tells her she actually
finds her very beautiful and intelligent.
Hotseat notices she can establish open and honest, whole-heart rapport
and intimacy with all her family members.
Hotseat complains about people who agree to do something and then let
follow her forms to a critical incident in which her father yells at
the dinner table - and throws objects from the table around the room,
occasionally hitting someone with the projectile. Hotseat busies
herself with trying to clear the dinner table, in order of the most
dangerous items first.
Through the process, Hotseat learns
to establish rapport with her father and to ask him how he feels.
Her father tells her he feels frustration about his
with his wife and no longer needs to act out violently with his
Hotseat notices she can establish rapport with her
business associates and align whole-heart with them, to accomplish
Hotseat complains about
his inability to raise new clients for his money-management business -
despite having an excellent track record.
We follow his
forms to a critical incident in which Hotseat, fearing beatings from
both his father and mother, hides in a closet and waits.
Through the process, Hotseat learns to establish rapport with his
parents and to work with them to keep the house tidy.
realizes he doesn't have to wait around in fear of his clients - and
that he proceed at once and focus on establishing rapport with
The Barber Shop
Hotseat complains about his inability to sustain a loving and
supportive relationship with a woman.
follow his forms to a critical incident in which Hotseat, waits, in a
barber Shop, for his mother to pick him up and take him home. When she
arrives, she looks at him and momentarily engages eye contact.
Neither of them show any sign of wanting to go first to
recognize the other - perhaps some kind of power struggle. Presently,
she exits the room and leaves him
behind, to walk home - which he does, defiantly.
Through the process, Hotseat comes to
learn to reach out first and establish rapport with his mother. She
tells him she has many things to do and can't wait around to play
games. He tells her he wants her to help him feel she cares about him.
confesses she doesn't know how to do this and that perhaps they can
work together to help each other learn how to have a better
Hotseat realizes that he can go the extra mile
in establishing rapport with his woman - and to make her feel safe in
learning and in building a relationship together.
also realizes in cases in which people do not
demonstrate willingness or ability to engage an intimate,
rapport-centric relationship, he can, respectfully, release them to go
their separate ways.
you for documenting the meeting.
You might consider checking back in a week or two to report any changes
you see showing up in your life.
Trauma and Addiction
I feel happy hearing from you in this moment of now.
wonder if you might be familiar with some of the work done by Gabor
Mate on addiction and the connection between childhood trauma, the
chronic "medication" of feelings (especially anger) and
I wonder if you ever consider sharing the Trading Tribe Process with a
I'd love to attend a TTP Workshop in Europe.
you for raising this issue.
TTP we hold that during critical childhood events, a child learns, from
role models, how to shut down to avoid pain. Later on, this
shut-down response pattern (Rock) comes to shape, even dominate, his
In TTP, we return the client to such
critical events by encouraging him to experience the associating
feeling and forms.
Then, while the client has deep
emotional access to his Rocks, he also has an opportunity
to fore-give these Rocks back to their donors - and to replace
them with the Heart Rock that motivates the establishment of rapport
and constructive exchange of feelings.
After this process,
the client generally finds himself behaving differently in stressful
situations - and getting different results - all without having to
remember the process or to follow conscious advice.
wonder if I plan to take TTP to a wider audience: As I work through my
own issues and develop more understanding and compassion for the human
condition, and more effectiveness in conducting the process, I may, at
some point, engage a project for wider distribution.
Last week, while I was visiting an old friend the funniest thing
happened. During one of our conversations, I had a "aha" moment.
While its hard to accurately explain in words, I had this great and
powerful inner feeling in my chest that seemed to almost follow my
spine. It was at this moment that I
realized what I honestly wanted to do with my life. Prior
to this, I honestly had some conflict, so it felt great to finally sort
recently I realized how one of my negative emotional charges is
affecting me in other area's of my life. I'm happy that I am finally
fully aware of this deeply seated issue and I am excited to work with
I hope you and the Tribe Community are well,
you for sharing your process.
am very confused. Why people just don't believe me about trend
following? Even my dad...Actually he don't think any kind of trading
can make a living in the long term. I showed him my past 2 years
trading Chinese futures market result, already total 80% for the 2
years period. But he still hesitates to believe me.
summer, I took my dad to USA for travel. In the mean time, i showed him
my card counting in Reno, Nevada. I told him i did a lot of work on
testing my card counting strategy on computer simulation and i had
proved my strategy real time while i was in US for study. And he did
not believe me can gamble for a win until he saw me won real money in
Rail City, and Western Village. Even after that, he told me not to be
too confident about blackjack.
So, I have a question: am i
gonna be disbelieved by people for my whole life? Why people don't
believe things that they don't normally see people succeed?
you for sharing your process and for raising this issue.
You might consider taking your feelings about <nobody believes
me> to Tribe as an entry point.
you metaform* this feeling from an adversary to an ally, you may notice
yourself projecting this drama onto others with less frequency.
* Metaform: to transform something by viewing it differently.
- Sister Simultaneity
Hot Seat (HS) arrives at the meeting, hot, ready, and willing to work.
HS begins by reading correspondence from HS’s sister.
I feel awe, amazement and jealous at the depth of understanding and
feeling shared through her correspondence.
shares feelings of loneliness, rejection and smothering with the Tribe.
The HS describes a history of “not being good enough” to parents and
A tightness begins in the HS’s throat as these
feeling become more intense. The HS is fully willing to feel these
feelings and really gets into it. The Tribe is in full support.
Process Manager (PM) asks if the HS can put a smile on the feeling. The
HS does not like the feeling. The PM and the tribe begin saying “That’s
the best rejection we’ve ever seen.” The HS smiles and laughs. The HS
shrugs and says “It’s just a feeling.”
During the process,
the HS becomes comfortable with the feeling of loneliness and states
that loneliness is peaceful. The HS also feels the feeling of
smothering and becomes comfortable with this feeling as well. I am
impressed at the HS’s ability to get into the feelings so deeply so
At the conclusion of the meeting, a feeling of openness fills the room.
the meeting, I read a text message that I receive from my sister during
the meeting. She shares strong feelings with me, is open with me. This
is very unusual.
The TT process is amazing.
you for sharing your process and for documenting the meeting.
Wants to Join
interested in joining a Tribe and learning what the Trading Tribe is
all about. Can you please direct me on how to get involved and learn
about meeting in the Connecticut area? Hope to hear from you soon!
you for raising this issue.
You can check the Tribe Directory for a Tribe near you. You can read
The Trading Tribe. You can start your own Tribe..
See Resources, above.
take my snapshot of a creating a “self-sustainably scaling” enterprise
to tribe. The Tribe challenges me by sharing that they think
is not really my snapshot or ambition, and that I am (as they observe
in prior instances) “playing with concepts in my mind.”
ask me what feelings come up and I share a fear of “letting
This becomes my entry point and the tribe encourages me through the
As the forms dissipate, I realize that
many of my thoughts, including that of creating a “self-sustainably
scaling” enterprise – are around what
I think I “should” be doing.
What I feel clearly (near the zero-point) is that I actually like working closely
– helping develop the younger consultants that join our firm, and also
being involved in delivering project work to our clients. I
building a strong foundation for our enterprise and believe providing a
place where people can do the best work of their life - in a balanced
way - is more important than how many people work with us, or how many
clients we have, or how much we grow our revenues (so long as we can
profitably sustain ourselves).
Wanting more (or
rather, doing what I think I should be doing), seems to take me away
from not only enjoying what I have, but also … not even seeing what is
right in front of me.
Thank you for receiving my process.
you for sharing your process.
From Rejection to Affection
During a recent Tribe meeting I experience feelings in my throat that I
don't like. My Process Manager helps me to like them and to
see their positive intentions. I come to see I have
a deep and subconscious pattern in which I train my mate to
withhold affection from me and, ultimately, to reject me.
I come to see this as a rock I inherit from my parents.
Upon further meditation and discussions with friends and family, I see
how I have a lifetime pattern of getting myself into this situation -
and that I also have a full-time career trying to "fix" the problem
by trying to get my mate to want me while simultaneously
pushing her away.
I now see my desperate and obsessive attempts to
get affection as just more setup for the deeper game.
the only way to win this game - involves letting it all go and not
I also see the resources in the Heart Rock in a different way.
Previously, I artfully employ "establish rapport" and "share
feelings" as tools to carry out, with more efficiency, my push-pull
drama. Recently, I see the difference between using these resources as
tools and really living by them.
As I learn to release this game, I notice some other changes:
1. I do not feel a need to follow my usual method of quickly replacing
my mate with someone else with whom to continue the game.
2. I feel a release of tension and an ability to focus on other things,
such as my health and on my job and on maintaining my friendships - and
on getting to know myself better.
3. I feel more at ease with people in general and more of an overall
feeling of contentment.
4. I become aware of other tendencies I use to distance myself from
others - such as by feeling superior to them - so I guess I
might have some more work to do.
5. I see my parents as doing their best and not trying to harm me.
I no longer blame them. I no longer blame ex-wives or
I might also guess I have a lot more to learn about getting along with
others. So far I have some indication that if I stick with it,
it might just work out pretty well.
I wish to thank my friends, family and Tribe Members for supporting me
in having these learnings.
you for sharing your process.
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