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Contributors Say Ed Says

March 31, 2013

Serving Cures The Server

Hi Ed,

I am glad to see you are doing fine.

As soon as I see FAQ's back online, I want to write you an email.

However, I am postponing this email. Now I realize that I am avoiding to write about my feelings.

I am feeling sad. I also have a sensation of dissatisfaction and despair.

Yesterday I retake my volunteer work visiting elders. As soon as I do this work, my inner whining disappears automatically.

I learn great lessons during the Austin tribe. Now, I see the intimacy-centric model as a lifelong process for me.

Sometimes I am in the control model. I see myself trying to control events or people, especially when I have strong feelings. However, sometimes an inner voice helps me notice this. I have the opportunity to switch modes and to explore the intimacy model.

I am part of the San Francisco tribe. I also plan to visit another tribe in the area next week. TTP helps me stay on the path.


Thank you for sharing your process - and for serving others.

On Easter and Other Times

we might remember

that serving benefits

the server as well.

March 31, 2013

How Now

Hi Ed,

I am feeling confusion about the processes involved in planning in the now moment for future events.

I wonder if you are willing to offer insight on the steps between planning now and reaching the goal of the plan in the future now moment.

I am wondering how do you keep the plan in the now moment for the future now moment?

Say we have an aggreement to have lunch on Friday.

To keep the agreement, we both have to keep it in the ever-evolving moment of now - until Friday also appears in the moment and we have lunch.

We really have no-where to keep an agreement, except in the now-here.

You might consider taking your feelings about a <future now moment> to Tribe.

You Either Have Your Agreements


or you have them


March 31, 2013

Survival of the Fixer


Yes, the dead bug photo for exercise in a previous FAQ post is funny too. I usually have a zen approach to bugs and move them outside instead of squishing them - feeling we both experience happiness in that process.

I am a nurturing "fixer" by nature and I experience difficulty in letting suffering of anything continue thus interrupting other beings processes --- today I let the worms wiggle out of a rain puddle themselves (survival of the fittest).

I remember experiencing a twang of guilt as I left them.

Thank you for sharing your process.

You might consider taking your feelings about <fixing> to tribe.

Birds Have a Way

of "fixing" stray worms,

sometimes by "serving" them

to their babies.

March 31, 2013

Happy Easter


Happy Easter ... to you and your essential Tribe !

Thank you.

March 30, 2013

Manual Labor


Some years ago, I ask California DMV for a license plate that says "I RTFM." The state refuses, with a form letter that says my combination is either misleading or obscene. Since I find nothing objectionable about reading forgotten manuals, I assume the state disagrees with me on my statement that I read before posting.

I Read the F---ing Manual

Hmmm ... the next time you tangle with the California DMV, you might consider reading the California Drivers License Plate Standards Manual (CDLPSM).

You might also consider taking you feelings about <tweaking the authorities> to Tribe.

March 30, 2013

Freedom Index


Of possible interest to you in oight of the "Freedom Index" chapter of your upcoming book on the economy, here's a link to the freest states in the US.

Thank you for the link.

Countries That Have
High Economic Freedom

like Hong Kong and Singapore

also enjoy high prosperity.

March 30, 2013

Therapist Uses TTP and Gets Compliments

Hi Ed,

I'm excited to share an event that happened yesterday in my psychotherapy work with a young man (18 years old) I'll call "Art." Tormented by anxiety as well as obsessive self-doubt and punishing self-criticism (and possibly an "attention deficit" as well), he has trouble even completing a thought, much less a sentence, when he tries to express his inner experience. I can almost see his thoughts colliding like bumper cars and quickly stalling in a big wad. It is torture to watch him struggle and inevitably give up.

Since I'm feeling strongly pulled by your notions of feelings before thoughts, and body before mind, I take a plunge and ask if he would be willing to stand up. Neither one of us has any idea what may happen next. I wonder what might be happening in his body, and he responds, "Nothing, it can't do anything." As he speaks, he puts his hand up to his mouth and I say, "Oh, I see it can put your hand up to your mouth!" He smiles, and together we wonder what his other arm might do or not do (it turns out it can go straight up in the air), and what his legs might do (they choose to move in different ways when they feel like it).

I notice that whenever I lose focus and ask him a question, he goes back into his head and the process grinds to a halt. Then, when I correct myself and we get back into his body, he reports that he feels "Resistance". He says it strongly and seems more present. We experience this feeling for a while and notice how it feels in different parts of his body.

In a moment I veer off into a question again (I am such a creature of habit!) and by the time we get back into his body, he reports feeling "nothing" again. This time, I decide to elicit imagery instead of feelings, and I wonder if he might be able to see anything in his mind's eye. He tells me he sees all black, and that there are "medieval paintings" depicting "bad things" like pestilence, plague and torture. I am stunned at the glimpse he is giving me into his inner process. We just stare at each other for a while (I think he is stunned, too), and then I thank him for letting me see along with him. Some other things happen that I can't remember, also "out of character" for each of us.

Later I learn that he tells his mother the session was like "the King's Speech", and that it felt amazing but he could not possibly explain it because he had no idea what happened. (He also says some very complimentary things about my skill at my job.)

I am going into such detail to emphasize that even for someone with 35+ years of experience, the room for growth that I am discovering in my work is truly phenomenal. I attribute much of this discovery to my exposure to your ideas about intimacy and the nature of human interaction. I have a pretty strong sense that I am too much in my head, and that the people I work with are not benefiting from this fact. It is exciting to see change there!

I believe this experience I had with Art could occur between any two people who are willing to be present with each other in an intimate way. It's like telling someone, "I want to be with you and share your experience, whatever it is!"

Wow, and I thought there wouldn't be too many more surprises at my stage in life (old). Thanks again for being who you are and doing what you do (by the way, it's called "helping").


Thank you for sharing your process - and for experimenting to find out what works.

In the Movie,
The King's Speech

eccentric speech therpist Lionel Logue
works with King George VI's "forms"
and helps him find his voice.

March 30, 2013

More on Porn


Thanks for your support. [Therapist] has also encouraged me. Have a look at this "reboot account": It looks encouraging. Quote:

Ed says (below): You might even take it further, with the Rocks Process, to forgive your "medicinal rock" to your rock donor - and to accept a new pro-active rock.

I am afraid I have more than one "rock donor." It's just not my focus anymore. I think I have forgiven them. I ended up getting in touch with [Therapist] after being able to share my problems with a girl friend, and feeling motivated to get more knowledge about ways of how to tackle the problem.

Yet I think that this girl friend was not comfortable hearing me either and so I ended up exchanging some e-mails with [Therapist] who's been supportive.

Thank you for sharing your process.

Sometimes DIM
(the Do-It-Myself process)

doesn't quite work out.

March 30, 2013


Ed says: (below) In intimacy-centric relationships people share themselves fully, including their feelings about porn.

I am more than willing to do so, as soon as I find a girlfriend who's willing to hear what my feelings about porn are. Women also have an "issue" with this.

So far I think the only option I have is embarking on a "rebooting" process by myself and letting go of porn, fantasies and masturbation so as to hopefully return to normalcy.

I started this process this week, on Thursday. I had been trying to withdraw for a couple of years but I was not kowledgeable of and being able to deal with the flatline symptoms of abstinence, which led me to make "tests" along the recovery process. I have to go through that for healing, including the mood swings.

Thank you for sharing your process.

You might consider taking your feelings about <wanting to quit porn> to Tribe. You might like to experience other Tribe members fully acccepting you and your feelings about porn.

You might even take it further, with the Rocks Process, to forgive your "medicinal rock" to your rock donor - and to accept a new pro-active rock.

Judging Porn

ironically helps to make it
a more compelling alternative.

Note: P-eas + C-orn = P-orn

March 30, 2013

Cyprus and The Ways of Delays

Dear Ed,

The latest news on Cyprus ("Heavy Losses for Depositors"), Ellen Brown's "It Can Happen Here" article on Seeking Alpha, plus the yawning response of the equity markets reminds me of Nick Louca's "The Ways of Delays" article in the EcoNowMics section of the Trading Tribe website (See Resources \ Econowmics). Nick says "Delays influence the dynamic behavior of most systems and have a major impact on real life situations."

I wonder if the market responses, considering gold, the S&P 500 Index and US Treasuries, suggest the Cyprus crisis is a pulse, a step or a ramp input to market behaviors.

The market response so far seems to indicate an isolated pulse. Gold popped up then faded. The S&P fell then recovered. Only Treasuries show a sustained move upwards since the Cyprus depositor-savings confiscation plan was announced on 25 Mar 2013. The pulse input model, if applicable, translates to Cyprus as a one-off event that is already discounted. On the other hand, validation via market behavior over time of a step or ramp input, rather than an isolated pulse, may indicate the "contagion virus" is spreading into investor psychology. I wonder what to do and realize, for the thousandth time, that all a trend-follower can do is to let the market work through its forms and processes while operating his or her system in the now.

I find this Cyprus crisis piques my interest system dynamics. I find re-reading "The Ways of Delay" article useful in thinking about these things. In particular it helps me to accept the fact that I do not know the future and that my best response to events is to practice "The Shower Process" described by another FAQ author recently until the current events, which excite in me feelings akin to that author's "freaking out" form, fully commit to "dead bug."

Thank you and Nick for publishing the EcoNowMics articles on this site. I look forward to future articles on the application of system dynamics to economics and trading.

Best regards,

Thank you for sharing your perceptions.

When You Finally Figure It All Out

don't forget

to trade with the trend.

From: Resources \ Econowmics \ Ways of Delays

March 30, 2013

Regrets 2.0 - Making it Personal - Zipping Along


Actually, now that I read them over in order to respond to you, I am pleased that I don't identify much with any of them as "regrets" now that I am opening up to experience life in a way I couldn't do when I was married.

I don't regret that experience, though ... I learned so much and it was part of what brought me to where I am today and the excitement that I feel about life.

The issue I most relate to is the sentence under the title of the article: Don't wait until your health fails before you live the life you want. I have a strong desire to have experiences outside the box: adventure travel, doing different things, meeting new people.

I am doing almost everything I can to maintain a strong physical condition so I can do these things as long as possible, before I can't. Of course, even when I am not able to be as mobile I can still have new and interesting experiences, but I want to do the ones that require some physical dexterity sooner rather than later. For some reason, the "flying" zip line in Puerto Rico has completely captivated me, and I may work on that as my next trip.

I sent you the Regrets link partly because I thought it related to what you are trying to accomplish with the Tribe work, to help people do all those things so that they don't have those regrets. I am grateful to you for helping me develop what was beginning to emerge, I am sure it would not have been this accelerated without this work.

Thank you for sharing your process - and for making it personal.

In Zip-Line as in Life

take a friend and keep moving.

March 30, 2013

Top Five Regrets of the Dying


You might like to see these regrets - and make sure you avoid them.

Thank you for the link.

I wonder with which ones you, personally, identify.

March 30, 2013


Hi Ed,

I am glad to see you're back!

I wonder whether you're familiar with the work of Ricardo Semler and in particular with his "Escolas Lumiar" project.

I am deeply fascinated by both.


Thank you for the links about empowering people.

In Tribe, we work to set each other free; we measure our actions by how well they increase freedom for ourselves and others.


You have to keep working
to keep it in view.

March 29, 2013

Father and Daughter


Thank you for getting in touch! I'm very glad the FAQ is back online, and I'm happy to read Ed's responses to readers. I missed Ed!

My tribe's is active, but it only has one member now. I'm taking this opportunity to state my intention of growing the membership. Please continues to list it in the tribe directory.

My business is growing. My revenues year-to-date are greater than for entire 2011, and greater than half my revenue for 2012. My daughter is turning 4 next month, and although my marriage with her mother ends in divorce, my relationship with my daughter is by far the most fulfilling thing that ever happened in my life. I see her 4 days a week, and she teaches me a lot about who I am--and who I want to be. And she teaches me about an exciting new hobby that we now share: rocketry. We're literally having a blast together!

Separately, I notice references to a winter Breathwork weekend on Ed's site. I wonder is this is complete or still upcoming. I gain much from my Breathwork in 2009, and would like to attend another one.

Having a Blast


Thank you for sharing your process and photos of you and your daughter - and for bringing back some memories.

See the Resources link above for information on upcoming events.

Moment of Now

March 29, 2013

Up and Down


Faq. One thing that would be helpful: one reads from top to bottom and then have to go back up to top to go forward to next page. Would be nice if could go to next page from the bottom also.
Thank you for the idea.

I now have up and down links at the top and bottom of the page.

March 28, 2013

Donchian Link

Hi Ed,

I notice a broken link to Donchian's Trading Rules posted on FAQ date Mon. 10 Mar 2003. I find the rules elsewhere on the Web. Here is a link to one of them on


Thank you for the catch, and for the link.
March 29, 2013

Austin Tribe

Dear Ed,

I am glad to see that you have FAQ updating again. Since I last see you at your ranch, I think about you often and hope that you are well.

I get a lot out of our Austin Tribe work, including some lasting and meaningful relationships with Tribe members. In Tribe I learn that feelings and people are important; I pay attention to and value both more as a result of tribe work.

I also get my Trading business running per my Tribe commitment. It takes me a few extra years, but better late than never.

You help me change the way I think for the better- I think. And for that I thank you.

Thank you for checking-in.

I plan to host another Austin Tribe.

Colorado River
Bastrop, TX

Mar 29, 2013

Erectile Dysfunction

Hello Ed!

Nice to hear news from you.

I like the TT Process and I feel that it does work on many levels. I usually try to apply it in my personal relationships.

I will keep an eye in FAQ and eventually I might set up a TT. My trading system is OK, i.e., sticking to it and to the basic principles of trend following.

On a personal level, however, I feel I still have to set up my own "Essential Tribe" and I also need healing from porn induced ED.

Thank you for sharing your process.

You might consider taking your feelings about <intimacy-centric relationships>> to Tribe.

typically portrays people
in control-centric relationships.

In intimacy-centric relationships
people share themselves fully,
including their feelings
about porn.

March 29, 2013

Can't Help Helping People

Dear Ed,

I am continuing to explore the ways it is possible to "help" someone in an intimacy-centric rather than a control-centric way.

This has led me to your concept of "medicinal" efforts that we sometimes make in the interest of helping either ourselves or others "feel better."

While I understand that behaviors and thoughts can be used as defense mechanisms, to move us farther away from the painful feelings we may need to experience, I wonder about the concept of hope and its potential role in helping us move toward, rather than away from, our avoided feelings.

We might consider the concept of "support", which is one of the stated purposes of your FAQ pages. Intimacy-centric support, as I understand it, does not involve telling someone what to do, giving advice, or trying to "help" them to feel better.

It may be described as a willingness to be present with the other person while they struggle, possibly including the statement, "I am here with you."

Does this not offer something extremely important to the struggling person, perhaps the comfort or reassurance that they are not alone (which may be the fear at the bottom of everything anyway). Does this not make them "feel better", perhaps not in the sense of immediate happiness but more in the sense of hope that they may eventually not just survive but actually live as a loved and loving human being?

Thanks again for the stimulating interaction!

Thank you for sharing your process.

In Tribe, "Medicinal" means something useful to suppress feelings and avoid dealing with the underlying situation that precipitates these feelings.

In the Tribe Rocks Process we assist the subject to rehabilitate his feelings and associate them with pro-active responses.

In Tribe language, we assist the subject to forgive his medicinal rock back to his rock donor and then to accept a pro-active rock.

You might consider taking you feelings about <helping others> to Tribe.


We can medicate them.

We can also find
their positive intentions.

March 28, 2013

Trend Following

Dear Mr. Seykota,

I am a Junior at [Name] University studying Accounting. I started trading the stock market three years ago, with the same advice a lot of people's parents had given them, buy stocks when they are going down or undervalued so that you will make money when the price comes back.

I always thought there was a better way. Why not just buy the stocks once the price turns around, that way you avoid holding a loss until the price does come back. I have started reading about Trend Following, and your name keeps coming up. You are mentioned several times in Michael Covel's book, The Little Book of Trading.

I understand the idea of putting stop losses in place to limit your downside risk, but what I don't really understand, is when you know when to buy into a trend.

Would it be better to look at a three month chart and do an underlying analysis or a one year chart and do the same, or look for stocks that are trending sideways and then have a breakout?

The idea of Trend Following seems rather simple, but if it were as simple as it seems everyone would win that trades the markets, and we both know that isn't the case.

Thank you, and I look forward to hearing from you.


You can define "trend" in many ways.

You can use a computer and a data base to back-test various ways to define trend - to find the ones that work best.

You might also consider checking your theoretical performance graph against your stomach lining to find out if you can handle the ride.

After You Come Up
with a winning formula

you might consider
giving it a taste test.

March 27, 2013

Good to See the TT FAQ Up and Running Again

Dear Ed,

Missed your FAQ responses.

For a while, I was worried about you.

Good to see you back in action in one of the photographs in the FAQ section.

Thanks for continuing the FAQ section.

Take Care,

Thank you for your support.

March 27, 2013

Perfect Marriage


I have been thinking about ... if I was happy. I have moments of happiness, also of sadness, discouragement, hopefulness and lack thereof! I consider all of this normal. I am attempting to regain my equanimity and deal with each as it comes. I think I did that pretty well until I decompensated massively a couple of years back!

To a certain degree even the moments that please us are defined by the fact that we know other alternatives are possible! More than ever I realize that I must not let anybody elses actions determine mine. You can have absolutely anything you want - but you CANT necessarily have everything you might like.

My marriage is certainly still not perfect - maybe none of them ever are. At the end of my life the only person who will have been there for its total is me. Turns out my spouse didn't sign up for the same thing I did. I can fix it as best I can, or end it and deal with the downfall from that. Am not criticizing either choice because that's all it is. I would prefer to keep my family as a unit, I'd like to think it is possible.

Thank you for sharing your process.

You might consider taking your feelings about <your husband's actions> to Tribe.

We Tend To Pick
marriage partners

for their skill as teachers.

March 27, 2013

Still Active

Hi Ed,

I am glad you are back online. I was beginning to think you were ill or something as the site never got updated.

The Forest gate tribe is still active with 2 members and things are going fine with it, so please leave my details on your site as before.

Hope you have posted some details about your world tour on the site for us to read? If so what page can it be found?

I notice the old "back to the future" link at the base of the pages is absent, I found this useful so maybe you can put it back.

Thank you for sharing your feelings.

The World Tour winds up as an exploration of worlds within.

The FAQ page chronology now runs from bottom to top with a "back to the future" link at the top.

March 27, 2013

Free Will


It seems to me that free will is an illusion.

You might consider taking your feelings about <free will> and <determinism> to Tribe.

If You Want To Make Choices
in the moment on now

it might help to visit now.

March 26, 2013

Day-Trading Challenge

Dear Mr. Seykota,

Please, I prefer you donate $ 10,000 to a philanthropic entity of your preference. I will pay the same $ 10,000 (include if I win the challenge) to a philanthropic entity of my preference. In really, if I win, I will to do using some of your ideas for that.

My trading system do not working every day. Trading around 10 – 50 positions per month, depending of its setup and market conditions.

I cannot demonstrate that my computer generate all signals, but I not see any advantage to trading manually. I consider too hard trading by technical analyses with consistent profit with a computer and almost impossible to do manually. Anyway, if you can suggest how I can proof that all trades will be from my computer, I will try to provide enough evidences for that.

My trading system run on Metatrader 4 platform and you can suggest any ECN broker (or MM regulated by NFA, CTFC, NFA, ARIF or similar) compatible with Metatrader 4 and with average spread + commission lower than 1.6 pips at EURUSD and not too large swaps.

My system probably will trading only on EURUSD, maybe also on GBPUSD, no more 10 instruments, like your condition. I suggest one of these brokers: Spedia (it is my prefference, because to offer better spreads + commissions and fast executions), Oanda, MBTrading, Alpari, FXPro, Interactive brokers, Dukascopy.

Metatrader 4 have some sources for you see all tradings direct on broker.

For my side, the only condition I can think at the moment is you cannot reproduce in your site, nor on any media, nor private meetings, each and all trades by my system up to deadline of our challenge. After the end of challenge, you can publish any information you want. If you deem it necessary, may elect two more referees to monitor these operations with delay of 1 day for them.

If you accept some suggestions, I consider important to validate my result (if I win) the following additional criteria:

1) My system need to do the minimum of 100 trades per year. (if not put this rule, I can make 2 or 3 fortunate short profits and stop trading, and will have not fair victory).

2) At the end of the period of 12 months, my total net profit need exceeded at least 1.1 times the maximum relative drawdown on equity (if not put this rule, I can trading with martingale management with very spaced trades and very little positions, with unlimited risk for long time, but probably positive for only 1 year with very bad strategy).

3) At the end of the period of 12 months, the number of my total long positions cannot be over 5 times my short positions, and the number of my total short positions cannot be over 5 times my long positions (then if the market have a fantastic up or fantastic down, I cannot will favored by fortune).

4) At the end of the period of 12 months, my Sharpe ratio (1994 revision way) using DJI balance and DJI volatility as benchmark, need to be over 1.1 and my Calmar ratio need to be over 1.1. In my opinin, this is appropriate to proof my risk is lower than my profit (include after to pay all commissions, swaps etc.).

Please, let me to know your conditions to start.


Thank you for following-up.

My challenge requires you to:

1. Post all signals from your system prior to execution.

2. Post brokerage house statements to prove execution of all signals.

3. Trading an average of once per day.

4. Trading in-and-out during the day.

5. Profitability over a one-year period.

As you state you cannot comply with (1) or (2), we have no deal.

March 26, 2013


Hi Ed,

I am thinking about you today. How are you?


Thank you for thinking.

Curiously, at this moment, I, too, find myself thinking about you.

March 26, 2013



I'm a university student, any tips for a novice?

Tip for novice: Stay that way.

Whenever You Think
You Have Humility

you probably don't.

March 26, 2013

Bad Ass


A couple from Montana were out mule-back riding -- he with his rifle and she with her camera. Their two dogs always followed them, but on this occasion a mountain lion decided that he wanted to stalk the dogs.

The hunter got off the mule with his rifle and decided to shoot in the air to scare away the lion, but before he could get off a shot, the lion charged the dogs. With that, the man's mule took off and attacked the lion.

As the lion approached the dogs, the mule snatched him up by the tail and started whirling him around, banging its head on the ground. Then he dropped it, stomped on it, and held it to the ground by its throat. The mule then got down on his knees and bit the lion a couple of dozen times, whipped it into the air again, walked back to the couple, and stood there ready to continue his ride as if nothing had just happened. Although the hunter didn't get off a shot, his wife got off these four pictures.

Thank you for sharing the story.

I wonder what kind of relationship and agreements you might suppose the mule has with the dogs.

March 26, 2013

TT Returns

Dear Ed,

What a surprise to see the Trading Tribe site updated !
Thank you for the gift.

A hug.

Thank you for returning, yourself.

March 25, 2013

TTID Update

Hi Chief,

I attach updated TTID for East Lake Village Tribe.


Thank you for the update.
March 25, 2013

Commitment, Attention and Discipline

Hi Chief Ed,

Experiencing FAQ interactively feels differently than reading passive archive FAQs.

Sometimes it feels similar to interacting with markets. I need to be fully attentive, committed and disciplined.

I am a software engineer, I find I am starting to feel the same way on my coding style when I commit to open source, writing email to co-workers, or anything in the office space.

I am having fun.


Thank you for sharing your process.

Connections With Others

may occur in various media.

March 24, 2013


Hi Chief Ed,

Are you hosting a TTP Breathwork weekend? If so, may I come to attend? Or may I be on the waiting list?

I have 3 times HB experience since last year. I attend Dr. Grof's Holotropic Breathwork in Albany New York. I read quite a few his books. And I have two more times Holotropic Breathwork with L.A local facilitator Michael Stone. I know basic breathing skills to enter and stay in alkalosis state.

I am also waiting for registering your Sept. workshop.

Thanks a lot!
To apply for Breathwork, check Resources, above.

March 24, 2013

Chasing After Something

Hi Ed

I notice you may host a workshop sometime around the end of this year.

I really want to come along and meet you in person.

I feel a desperate longing, as if I could run for miles, chasing after something, just to attend.

Thank you.

Best wishes

Thank you for your encouragement.

You might consider taking your feelings about <chasing> to Tribe.

Sometimes You Might Feel

like the tiger

or the chicken

or maybe the camera man.

March 24, 2013


Hi Ed,

I see FAQ is back up and running.

I noticed a jolt, a spark of elation course through my veins as I notice this and a light happy feeling fills me to know you are still prepared to teach and enlighten.

I feel excited at the prospect of being able to have fresh examples and teachings to learn from in my journey towards my right livelihood.

Welcome back and thank you.
Thank you for letting me know.

March 22, 2013


Hi Chief Ed,

I find I am missing one element of the TTP training, and I rephrase my application as following:

I want to know if I can attend a TTP Breathwork.


Watch the FAQ index page for information on how to register for the Breathwork Weekend.

March 22, 2013


Hi Ed,

I feel frustrated that you label me as non-compliance when I strive to be a good soldier following your various instructions: from a week without question to forming a Tribe (so that I can take my feelings to Tribe). I may have added my own variations, but none of the variations is inconsistent or mutually exclusive with building rapport with others.

I feel frustrated that you seem to misinterpret my struggle to find a Chinese-equivalent to *REFRAME QUESTIONS* as per your suggestion, into a mocking exercise of naming feelings in Chinese. You might consider putting "I wonder how you are feeling" into a universal translator (Google Translate or Bing it doesn't matter), translate it into Chinese, copy-and-paste the result and translate it back into English, and you can see it now becomes "I don't know how you are feeling." Something is lost in translation.

My hypothesis is also NOT that people register feelings differently - through years of observing hot seats from different cultures and backgrounds I come to see body language as mostly universal. My hypothesis is that, when we use spoken language as a form of communication, how intimate or controlling is less a function of wording or reframing ("I'd like to know how you are feeling" vs a question like "Would you mind telling me how you are feeling?") than a function of genuine care. When one speaks sincerely - when one truly cares - I can feel it and appreciate it. The form is in the act of speaking, not the way of phrasing, for when you say "I wonder ..." in the FAQ column I honestly don't really feel your "wonder" (feeling). Like you say sir, absent any form, it is less vivid.

On the other hand, I am glad that I am already getting some insight from following your suggestion to refrain from questions for a week. I notice how it affects me. I notice that I am not caring enough about other people, and it shows in how I speak to them. For that I thank you. I am continuing logging my experience.

I also like your suggestion about a survey, but not on the forms, which I already have plenty of observation. I am interested in finding out by surveying my colleagues if they have a preference on direct questions (e.g. "Can you get me the report please?") or reframed questions (e.g. "I wonder if you can get me the report", or "I'd like to know if you can get me the report"), and if they find one way more intimate or appealing than the other.

I do see and acknowledge the fruitlessness in our discussion. It only makes you see me as more and more unwilling, even when every fiber in me feels the desire to learn, to understand, and to put that knowledge into practice to ultimately become better in connecting with other people. Anyhow, I am forming a new Tribe and I intend to take my feelings of <frustration> to Tribe.

Lastly, as I am re-reading what I wrote, I just realize and I feel a bit guilty that I've always been trying to get things from you - be it your insight, wisdom, or approval. I wonder, if you would like to share, how you are feeling. I also wonder, how we (as FAQ readers in general), might contribute to your Snapshot, whatever that might be.


Thank you for sharing your process.

Watch the FAQ index page for information on how to register for the Breathwork Weekend.

March 22, 2013



Glad you are back.

Best regards,

Thank you for your encouragement.

March 22, 2013


Hi Chief Ed,

Are you hosting a TTP Breathwork weekend? If so, may I come to attend? Or may I be on the waiting list?

I have 3 times HB experience since last year. I attend Dr. Grof's Holotropic Breathwork in Albany New York. I read quite a few his books. And I have two more times Holotropic Breathwork with L.A local facilitator Michael Stone. I know basic breathing skills to enter and stay in alkalosis state.

I am also waiting for registering your Sept. workshop.

Thanks a lot!

Watch the FAQ index page for information on how to register for the Breathwork Weekend.

March 19, 2013



I fracture my leg while skiing. Here you see my right leg, knee to the right, with titanium brace and pins now in place.


Thank you for the report and photo.

You might consider taking your feelings about <separation> to tribe.

March 22, 2013

First Song

Dear Ed,

You might like to hear my first song on the guitar, Pearl Jam - Last Kiss: C - Em - C - D

Please let me know your thoughts :)


Thank you for sharing your process.

March 22, 2013

Shower Process


Thank you for the opportunity to continue sharing my process and for your thought-provoking response to my previous post.

This morning after beginning my shower I noticed a cockroach doing the "dead bug" form about a foot away from my foot. Since I was already committed to my shower process, I did not do what I might have done had I noticed the unfolding scene before entering the shower: that is, I might feel a stab of anxiety and fear in my chest, then run for a paper towel to KILL and remove the offending trigger.

Instead, I made an almost instantaneous decision to be willing to share the process with the cockroach. The stab of anxiety and fear remained briefly (the roach being pretty low on my "favorite life-forms" list), and then the feelings yielded to a feeling of compassion accompanied by a strong urge to help, as I watched the roach flail strenuously for several seconds and then briefly relax. This pattern repeated numerous times.

As I noticed my desire to help, I could feel pressure in my body, pushing me toward action. I wonder how to help. I could kill him like I would have done in a heartbeat if I had seen him before I got in the shower, or I could flip him over and take the chance that he would begin running frantically around the shower and freak me out. In my state of sharing our process, however, I kept thinking "He's doing what he needs to do", and "I'm okay with it."

This was oddly comforting. I could participate in this process without having to alter it, whether to "help" myself or to "help" the cockroach. I felt peace and acceptance, and the process between us continued for quite some time.

I left the shower with a more profound understanding of my need to "help" and the ways in which it might be transformed into a less control-centric offering to others.

I absolutely LOVE your concept of willingness! I wonder if I was actually intimate with the cockroach or if it was just a projection (he was unable to validate it for me since he did, ultimately, fully commit to "dead bug".

Thank you for showering your process.

Opportunities To Grow

appear in various forms.


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