September 11, 2011
I have three bags with cookies. One contains chocolate cookies,
another vanilla cookies, the third assorted cookies (both
chocolate cookies and vanilla cookies). The bags are labeled,
but the labels do not correspond to the content (i.e. the bag
with the label “chocolate” does not contain chocolate cookies,
the bag with the label “assorted” does not contain assorted
cookies, and so on). What is the minimal number of cookies that
you have to extract to find out the content of all three bags?
Hmmm... I'd say the minimum number is zero if you can measure the bags' contents without "extracting" cookies.
If you have to extract, then extract just one cookie - from the bag with the assortment label bag - to ID that bag. Say you get a vanilla cookie. Now the chocolate-label bag cannot have either chocolate or vanilla, so it must hold an assortment and the assortment-label bag must hold chocolate.
September 15, 2011
Giving Up Control
I prostrate before you and seek your Blessings, I hope and pray
that you are fine. Its been long since I reported to you and I
now commit to post you all my Hot Seat experiences as also other
posts. I am a member of the [City] Trading Tribe.
I have this feeling of being a control-centric person as against
intimate-centric person with my wife and daughter. I mention
this issue in the check-in rounds for the last 3 tribe meets,
but do not take this to the hot seat. I read on your site a lot
about being intimate centric and want to walk the path.
the tribe meet yesterday, a tribe member asks
me what excuses I come up to avoid feelings. I tell that I
resort to storytelling, say I am not hot enough and sometimes
invent excuses not to attend tribe meets. Going back a bit on the
day, I had a test of willingness with the wife in which I
express my sadness in not allowing her to live her life she
would live - my wife is puzzled a bit by the attitude and laughs
this off but somehow, this dissipates some of the heat I feel
before the hot seat. On the cue of saying I am not hot enough
for the hot seat, I decide that I no longer want to delay
feelings my feelings on the hot seat.
I take the hot seat - I start with the issue itself. I mention
that ever since my marriage 22 years ago, I have always
dominated the relation, I have always had the upper hand in the
relation and have sometimes even resorted to bullying my wife. I
also mention that I love my wife very much, am very fond of her,
find ways to spend more time with her but always deny her to be
I find this dominance to spread to my 20 year old
daughter, which I try to justify as right upbringing and
discipline. I also find that I have always given lots of time to
my family and also tried my best to give them the most of the
lifestyle I can give them. I hug them, love them but when it
comes to them living their life they want to live, I somehow
want to have a say in that. I also find that whenever they
express defiance, I do not talk to them till such time as they
come around. I find that all this is nothing but me being
wanting to be in control of things all the time. The control
thing also spreads its wings into me wanting to control my
trades, the traffic.
On being prodded on my feelings by the PM, I feel that I do not
like it, I am not like that. I feel selfish and disgusting. I
also mention that this control over the relations with my wife
and daughter stem out of insecurity that they might leave me
alone and / or abandon me, though I am very sure they will not
leave me. I feel sad and feel like crying, i shed a few tears
and feel heaviness in the chest with a dry throat. On being
asked to crank my feelings, I feel that there are thorns in my
throat which grow in size to an extent that I have a long
coughing bout for quite some time. Pursuant to this coughing, I
find myself suffocated and unable to breathe - like a plastic
bag tied around my head and I am gasping for breath. I am asked
to freeze the feeling and try to recollect any incident from my
life earlier wherein I feel the same feeling - I don't get any
such recollection. Being in freeze mode for some time, I find
myself giving up the resistance and becoming limp and then stiff
as a rock.
My PM then tries to find the texture and colour of the rock to
help me crank the feeling up - I lie in this state for sometime
and when I try to push myself a lot, I find that the rock
explodes and disintegrates into very small pieces of stone and
then into dust. Aha. I feel myself freed and allow myself to feel
me as dust, which then is sucked into the core of the earth,
melting in the lava and losing my identity - Dust to Dust.
At this time, I think I have no feelings. The PM then further
provokes me by asking me how do I feel about being alone, being
abandoned - and I suddenly feel like crying but again just a few
half-tears. The intensity of feelings is not as hot as the
earlier but I feel like a person whose feet are in cast iron and
chained, further cranking up to being a prisoner in a very small
cell. At this point, I say, I cannot do anything and accept that
I cannot change anything.
I repeat the sentences a few times
loudly only to find myself completely free in no man's land.
Once again, the PM tries to provoke me by asking me how do I
feel like bullying, by being in control - there are no feelings
whatsoever, The hot seat ends.
On the checkout, a few comments were made by my tribe members -
one felt that I was not completely willing to
feel my willingness (I mention dissipation of heat due to
conversation with wife earlier that day), another felt that I was in control of my feelings too and the
third felt that there was lots of narrative in
the hot seat, which could have involved the CM a lot more.
Nevertheless, as always with my earlier hot seats, I see CM and
Fred communicating - my key takeaways being the two Ahas
I resolve to being intimate with my wife and daughter and give
them freedom to pursue their life as they deem fit and also to
promote and encourage them in whatever they do. Where I see
disagreement, I decide to express my feelings to them and use
the test of willingness. I feel grateful to my PM as also my
tribe members, who have relentlessly validated my feelings.
I also wish to thank You, My Respected Guruji. who have always
been there to guide us mere mortals with your ever generous
lovely knowledge and Blessings, we look forward to hosting you
in [City] on your World Tour and request you to please be
generous to spend lots of your time with us. I also pray to the
Almighty for the good health, happiness and prosperity for you
and your near and dear ones for all times to come.
Seeking your Blessings once again
Thank you for sharing your process and your insights.
generally develop a dependence
on their submissives.
When they set their submissives free
they also free themselves.