Note: The intention of inclusion of charts in FAQ is to illustrate trading principles - The appearance of a chart does not imply any kind of indication or recommendation to buy, sell, hold or stay out of any positions.

Answers

Goals and Processes

Dear Ed,

In response to a letter written on March 31, 2009, you write: "In the Workshop, we practice reconciling goal orientation with process orientation." That reminds me of an email I wrote to you a while back, wherein I asked about how to do that. Your answer was useful, as always, but not totally clear to me. Can you please elaborate on how you practice reconciling goal orientation with process orientation in the workshop?

Ed

$5000 to 15 mil in 12 years; Trading/working with Ed is like drinking from a fire hydrant.

What is it that sets you apart from other very successful trend followers who stick with winners cut losers and manage risk?

If you are ever in [Country] would you come to a [City] Tribe meeting?

One thing that sets me apart is receiving this email from you.

where you mention that Wisdom is the result of Fred and CM working together.

Between 2001 and 2005 i repeat the same drama several times: I save up money and quit my day job to be a full time trader. I fail miserably each time. I feel great pain each time.

In 2005 i am able to relate my experiences with what you write on your webpage.

I feel that just knowing that Fred and CM work together to generate wisdom provides me with great wisdom in itself.

I realize how i am interrupting the flow of experience and creating repeating drama.

I recall losing fifty thousand dollars between 2002 and 2005.

I am able to turn my trading around and am up almost a million dollars in the following four years.

Thank you for sharing your process.

Ed,


The most significant AHA I have after my anger rocks process is the realization of the ridiculous amount of time I waste engaging in anger drama. A huge amount of my day is diverted away from right livelihood on situations where I believe I am being violated, or violating rules myself, and dealing with the repercussions of both.

I believe I am a mellow guy who rarely gets angry. Therein lies my blockage – I have a judgement associated with anger. I refuse to feel it in the moment of now, and Fred continually looks for situations for me to feel anger. Before my IVTT rocks process, I have two responses to anger: (1) my usual choice was to internalize it, and take it out later on innocent victims; and (2) come to a boiling point and explode in an ineffective and inappropriate – not physically, but verbally violent – way.


Tribe reenacts a scene when I am 2 years old and like to stick forks in electric sockets. In response to repeated demands to stop and refusal, my caregiver burns me to simulate the effect of electric shock. As a result, I re-enforce my family’s usual response to shut down and pretend “it doesn’t matter”, while boiling on the inside. This ingrained automatic response happens time and time again at work: someone crosses a boundary – I clam up – and I come home in a rotten mood, thereby taking it out on my family. Upon realization of this I want change - as my new bumper sticker says: “I am a caring and supportive father, husband, and man.”

I learn getting angry and irritating others is the same concept. The opposite pole of the same situation, allowing others to violate my boundaries, is also the same concept.

With the help of IVTT, we discover proactive ways for me to respond to “anger” situations, and once I receive the new rock, I use my new responses by role-playing various scenarios. Following are my new responses:

(1) Boundary crossing: When my boundary is crossed, I respond in a firm, respectful way.

(2) Share feelings: I let the other person know how I feel.

(3) Ask for feelings: I ask how the other person feels about the situation.

(4) Express myself and find a solution: Without compromising what’s important to me i.e. self expression, discover ways the path to a mutually acceptable resolution

(5) 5% response: The old way, “shutting down”, is appropriate if I am in a situation with a violent person and my life/other’s lives are in danger.

(6) If I can’t think of what to do, I take a deep breath and count to ten.

(7) Stop teasing authority figure. I notice my family communicates by breaking rules.

(8) Learn the rules; comply with the rules; if I don’t like the rules, don’t play the game. Know the positive intention of compliance.

(9) When I resolve an “anger” situation positively (in which I previously shut down), I bring this immense joy home to share with my family.

I formerly believe rocks responses are predetermined. Rather, new resources are arrived at through intelligent discussion and debate among the tribe members, who arrive at solutions aimed at dealing specifically with “anger” situations I mention.

I am deeply thankful to all my tribe members for devoting several hours to help me with the process. Your attention to detail, focus and caring is wonderful. It gives me strength and great joy to hear responses from you describing how my rocks process directly relates to a problem they have, and helps them. I can say for sure from observing others’ rocks processes, as Ed says, experiencing these issues as a tribe “elevates everyone in the room.”


Sincerely,

Thank you for sharing your process.

Last time she told me she was in deep pain when she is painting and I told her painting might not be best for her right now, she rebelled saying that painting is her passion and so on. This time when she called I said how is painting going for her and she told me she is very excited about painting despite her pain. I said that is great and wish her the best and she told me she hopes to have show in NYC one day. I said I will be very excited about that. I felt positive energy in her voice and hopefully that is helping her. Few days ago she sent me picture of her. She is recovering from serious illness and on the picture she did not look too good. I just wanted to wish her well. I did not feel any resistance on my part. I feel OK. I am trying to smile and enjoy this feeling. I love my mother dearly in a very different way now. I think she understands me and she like my feeling.

Thank you for all your sharing. As usual I don't understand many things that goes on during the process but I feel fine with that and I trust and feel that positive change is evolving within me and many other AHA's to come. Thank your for reading my email. Thank you for everything.

yours,

00/1c/3a/b9/body-painting-competition.jpg

Dear Ed,


I observe that as I practice more TTP I can experience more feelings and they flow more spontaneously. It seems to me that the faucet is opened and many other feelings may flow.

- Some days ago while jogging I think of a discussion with a friend (“I will have a yearly return of +217%”): don't ask me why not 219 or 211%. As I think about it I start laughing. The laugh gets more intensive and louder. It turns frantic. I keep “on running while I laugh like a madman. I realize that the laughing is the form for “I am greedy - I have a huge return”. As I stop laughing I can laugh about my expectation (“why not +217% per day, or even per minute!”). I realize that I cannot plan a return: I follow a strategy, I pull the trigger, I control risk and at the end of the year have a certain return. It is easy. However, I still have some problems: I use a trend following system, but what to trade? Stocks, options, leveraged instruments, CFDs? I keep wondering.

- Later I go to bed and remember the 217%. I start laughing again. I keep on laughing until the form ends; then, I feel increasing tension in my back and fists. I increase the tension until it turns joyful, further, further, and then it disappears. Then, I KNOW: I buy the instruments which correspond to my strategy: it can be an option in some market circumstances, a leveraged instrument in others, no CFDs (I lack the experience and do not need the fear of a margin call).

- I know that it is DIM, but it happens spontaneously more and more frequently.

Thank you for sharing your process.

Next Up: My personal relationship with my wife of 21 years, my friends and six children improves as I learn patience and acceptance in trend trading. I feel content. I let go of fixing and grasp patient, active listening.

You might consider taking your feelings about <betrayal> to Tribe.

I wish to start a Tribe in Chile.

Ed,

I wrote a program which takes long positions when a stock breakouts with high volume and increase in price. I tested the system with the following parameters:

* ATR period – 5, 10, 15 and 20 day
* ATR multiples
* Volume multiples compared to 50-day moving average and
* Percentage increase in price at the time of breakout

I tested the system from 2000 to 2008 with a random selection of stocks risking 1% on each trade with a modest capital of 200k. For each year, I got different parameter set that resulted in high expectancy. The question is how to nail down a parameter set to start using the system?

I am also testing the system from 1991 to 2000 to see any similarities. If you can give me some hints to find the optimal parameter set that would be fantastic.

Hint for finding optimal parameter set: back-testing.

Congratulations for sticking with this.

Your Vensim / Stella model is a very accurate description of the pendulum.

It demonstrates the equivalence of two aspects of the pendulum: (1) the intention (structure) and (2) the result (behavior).

Note that the simulation continues to stay in the ever-evolving moment of now (or in a very thin dt) as it "explains" the solution.

Your explanation, and many others, stray from the discipline of "staying in the now."

They grab this and that event from different parts of the cycle (different dt's) and try to force them into the past-cause ==> future-effect form.

You might consider emulating Vensim / Stella in your narrative.

I have been an aspiring trader for 3 years now. I am 25 years old have I have had both great success and a few adverse "learning experiences" as a trader. I would like to meet with you and buy you a coffee or lunch one day a your convenience. I can travel to North Lake Tahoe anytime. I would like to learn more about your trading style and what has made you successful over the years. My experience began with options then switched to S&P outrights, then to yield curve arbitrage. My goal is to become a better outright trader and stay away from arbitrage strategies. I look forward to hearing back from you soon as this is very important to me.
Best Regards,

As I continue to work on my bumper sticker, I notice two patterns in my career. First, the problems I tackle are typically quite small. I fail many job interviews with a diagnosis of "overqualified." I want to move up in my expectations of what I can achieve. Second, I often develop a solution first and then go looking for a problem for it. I want to stop cold-calling and instead find people who are already looking for help solving a problem they know exists.

At our last meeting, I solicit feedback for an experimental bumper sticker that reads, "I Solve Big Problems."

Among the feedback I receive, Ed names two big problems: (1) balancing California state budget and (2) finding gainful employment for me.

I wonder if Ed thinks these two are equally difficult.

I then observe that balancing a state budget is not a very difficult task, if you are willing to. The state can reduce its expenditures if it stops owning losing businesses, like CalTrain or its school system. These businesses lose money because they provide inferior service at inflated price. The state can also reduce its expenditures if it limits what it regulates. Underage smoking, drinking and driving; substance scheduling; gun control; marriage licensing; minimum wage; immigration; auto insurance--all cost money to enforce, and are, IMHO, none of the state's business.

I notice excitement as I make a list of things the state can stop owning or regulating. I wonder who might be the people who are looking to solve this problem and how I might get in touch with them.

I also notice, with some surprise, that I am, apparently, more willing to consider solving the California budget problem then solving the problem of my own employment.

Thank you for sharing your process.

I read your site and the process, I have emailed the Chicago chapters but I'm not sure if these people still work with you. If there's anyway I can be a part of what you have going on please let me know. Thank you for your time and consideration.

You might like to check out the upcoming Workshop.

No additional research was done since I completed the two projects, Exponential and Support & Resistance Projects. If you have any idea around these projects, I can do research. Reading your book. Too complicated for me. But did not give up yet. So, this process also go slow.

The same goes for $100,000,000.

Hi Ed,


I write you as follow up to my email of March 12th and commitment to complete Road Maps prior to the workshop. I have completed the Road Maps readings on the System Dynamics site except the work from the required books which I ordered and have yet to receive. I find the work challenging but also enjoy it. I receive many insights and Aha's during the whole process. I attach some of the models I have built as part of the readings and a brief overview of systems principles as they are explained in each chapter of Road
Maps.

As further work I intend to return to the Road Maps readings and develop a glossary of the Key Terms and Concepts as laid out at the end of each chapter. I continue work on additional articles on Exponential Smoothing and Exponential Material Delays from the Road Map series. I am interested in applying these concepts along with other I have learnt from road Maps to model markets behavior. I intend to work on this some more as I am still at the early stages of developing systems on my own.

I look forward to the Workshop.

Links to articles mentioned:

http://sysdyn.clexchange.org/gsp98/papers/D-4782.pdf

http://sysdyn.clexchange.org/gsp98/papers/D-4614.pdf

Thank you for sharing your process.

After all it's fun. I am planning to join local acting class or group/universities and also I am planning to find some voluntary work with animal organization. I love animals and sharing my feeling through acting. I just came from walking about 40 minutes and enjoyed it very much. A huge dog with pretty lady almost attacked me but I managed to survive with a laugh!

Thank you for sharing your process.

Lake Ratio
 
Hi Ed,


Thanks a lot for your answer.

I’m sorry because I think that I formulate my question wrongly.

As my paper is to be published in a scientific journal, only references from other journals or congresses are admitted. A link to a website is unfortunately not considered.

So my question is: did you introduce the Lake ratio in a scientific paper, or did you present it during a congress?

To my knowledge, the Lake Ratio appears in no scientific journals and has no other scientific credential.

It does, however, have some peculiar features.

Namely, it makes intuitive sense, it has a simple graphical representation and it underscores the necessity for risk control.

You might note that despite the prevalence
of hundreds of "risk" metrics such as appear in your book, the money management industry continues to demonstrate a lack of intuitive sense for risk control.

This may reflect a preference for arcane intellectual metrics over simple emotional ones.

All the best to you and for your researches and publications.

I struggle with a pattern in my relationship with my father. I tell him about something that happens in my life, or something that I do, and he comes back with advice on how to make it better. I end up feeling that my father disapproves of everything I do.

I receive one of these here-is-how-I-would-make-it-better emails before I leave for this week's IVTT meeting. On my way to Nevada, I try to find its positive intention. I try to think of something I can thank my father for in response.

I have an AHA. My father frames much of his communication with me as advice. If he wants to share with me a reflection on his experience, or a feeling, or a thought, he never does that directly. He waits for me to tell him something about me, then presents what he wants to share as a lesson for me on how to improve what I describe.

After I return home from Nevada, I email my father thanking him for sharing his inner world with me. I tell him how much I enjoy receiving displays of his creativity and originality. I tell him that I see a real, live human behind them.

My father calls me today to thank me for my letter. He says it touched him deeply. I notice a difference in his voice. He sounds softer and more pensive. He shares his feeling with me rather then dispensing
advice.

2007/09/father_son.jpg

Hi Ed,

I am still adjusting from my Rocks process; I screamed in the middle of the night feeling anger at level I never felt before, and then I cracked up laughing. I am writing a full report for FAQ.

media/pc285%20screamer%20moaner.jpg

Ed says, "If you can come up with even one single counter-example - that is, one teeny-weenie thing you can do in the past or future, please document it with a snapshot and send it to FAQ." (FAQ 3/23/09)

Hi Ed,

Thanks for the response on FAQ. I think about it and not surprisingly, I cannot (yet) have a counter-example. More and more I can see how the past and future doesn't "exist", or exist merely as a concept in Now, which is the only time dimension we can be.

However, I am not sure if I can agree with your argument. You seem to suggest that since no one can ever go to the past (or future) to do something, evidently that the past (or future) doesn't really exist.

If so, then what about say the Andromeda Galaxy. It is the nearest spiral galaxy to our Milky Way, although still 2.5 million light years  away. No one has ever been to the Andromeda Galaxy and do something. No one can document one teeny-weenie thing he can do in Andromeda. Under your deduction, then Andromeda doesn't exist? Wouldn't it be similar to that a thousand years ago, if someone brings up the North Pole or South Pole, they didn't "exist" because no one has ever gone there, but yet we now know that they always exist for as long as the Earth exists?

(I am not arguing whether past and future "exist." I am just not sure if I can conclude their non-existence based on the argument you provide)

Thanks.

Thank you for the weather report.

The pendulum again begins accelerating towards the center of the earth along the arc of its length and continues oscillating in the same manner until the its position decays to a point where the effect of acceleration of gravity will not act on the pendulum to move it along its arc.

You have various conceptual errors in your description.

This is novel in our very intense Tribe. Furthermore, she manages my own hot seat in two opportunities. To my surprise, I also do not have ahas or experience changes after my own hot seats. I re-read the chapter in your book, but I am still wondering. In your experience, do incorrigible persons also profit from TTP? And can they inhibit the progress of other Tribe members when managing processes?

You might be attracting and indulging this person to participate in your drama.

Thank you for sharing your process.

http://soonereyo.blip.tv/#1762059

Thank you for the clip.

I share the mini-AHA that I have better experience of personal boundaries with my spouse, compared to first IVTT meeting.

I share the experience of logging my negative behaviors. I derive several indirect benefits from this recording activity (better sleep, better caffeine control, etc.).

I enjoy the extended discussion of "cause + effect vs. intention = result". The intention is the result. Also, all feelings have a positive intention. Fear relates to risk control and anger relates to boundary management.

We talk about "because, because, because" which is all about causality (and effect). I recognize my own tendency to search for reasons and explanations. Sometimes this search gets in the way of right livelihood.

We talk about taking judgment off the feelings. Examine the feeling, find something you can learn from it.

We observe a master / slave type exercise where one tribe member is on all fours and the other presses on his back with two hands. The master says, "I own you" and the slave says "Get off my back". I recall to myself a comment made to my spouse, "Take your foot off my throat."

Finally, a member on the hot seat has an emotional experience describing his relationship with his father. This member has a foreign accent with an American regional dialect. I observe that when he breaks through, his foreign accent seems to disappear and he sounds like an American with the regional dialect only. He sounds more assertive and confident this way.

Thank you for sharing your process.

Once my pendulum went up continuously like a birthday balloon. The final one I could come up with I attached, with the equations.

I was so frustrated, I cannot even describe, I was ready to cry, and I broke a few things, a stapler, and a water bottle. I have cool it for now, and I will see what I can do tomorrow.

Clip: www.babble.com

mmedia/energy/pe.cfm

Thank you for the clip.

Under Water Sculpture

http://www.metacafe.com/w/yt-IzMP4MJmfQE/

Enjoy!

Thank you for the clip.

At the same time my intention is to keep the momentum going on for right livlihood. As you can see from the measurement the Love bumper sticker come to a stand still. It's still short time. I feel I am making progress in little interactions with woman and feel I am connected to them more and more but not in deep level. Hopefully I can come up with a solution for this. Detailing out meaning of love is very difficult.

Details of Love (In this case with your girlfriend)
1. Protect and Care
2. Support her to manifest her right livelihood
3. Spend weekend together
4. Physical Intimacy
5. Listen to her


Thanks for reading.

Thank you for sharing your process.

Thanks Ed

uploads/2009/01/stomach-ache.jpg

Most Wise Master,

Just FYI the Stock tabs on the chart page are not working. Thank you for all your assistance.

I am in process of recovering from a free and automatic update and "upgrade" of my Vista operating system.

I just read your book and it is a AHA for me. I have a question though. Have you tried EFT with your tribe process? (EFT is Emotional Freedom Therapy) The friend who loaned me the book and I are starting a tribe.

Thanks,

One of the precepts of EFT is that some feelings are good and others are bad.

Hi Ed !

I am thinking about your list of processes: micro-organism growth in nutrient broth, nuclear reaction, compound interest, etc, which can be displayed as parabolic trend charts, and which resemble the recent growth of US money supply and growth of US debt.

So the most important economic question on the planet now is: What do those charts of known parabolic trends look like after the parabola? I believe that, with the possible exception of compound interest, they each spike down.

As i visualize this more, i see it is not the number of viral bodies which spike down. It is the fact that they kill their host, and so die themselves, and the toxins they emit stop. Similarly, with dollar creation, the number of dollars still exists, but the value is what spikes down.

Perhaps this question is only another attempt to see the future, rather than trading the present.

best regards,

For awhile, positive feedback dominates.  As the system evolves, an outer, negative feedback loop comes to dominate.

Hi Ed - I found it again... Hope it works this time. Better watch it quick, before the remove it again. After the first 1/3, it gets really super.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOKSkaQoF_I

Thank you for the clip.

Sorry , i didn't got any feedback for my last question as below, no comments?

You might consider taking your feelings about <having to be perfect> to Tribe.

Just wanted to give you an update, and I am kicking ass. The system dynamics is all too cool, look forward to conference.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEzRdZGYNvA

watch?v=aC-KOYQsIvU&NR=1

The mass then continues to oscillate around the stable equilibrium position between +/- 45%. At least this is what happens when there is no friction in the model. When I introduce friction (a combination of friction at the pivot point and air resistance resulting from the movement of the mass through air) that is proportional to the velocity of the mass, the mass overshoots the stable equilibrium position but reverses course at a point less far along the arc than the original angle position, and the oscillation of the mass then continues to decay at a geometric rate until the sum of all forces are once again equal to zero and the mass resumes the stable equilibrium position.

Hint: Your system dynamics model does not operate this way.

This video takes my breath away! Amazing!


http://www.artgallery.lu/digitalart/women_in_art.html

Thank you for the clip.

It's also interesting to me to see how things attract. I stumble on this link through a link on Gmail, which provides it by mining my email and automatically search for key words that repeat often (in this case, likely "pendulum"). So even unknowingly, things that we put our minds to, attract even more of them. It seems that is one of the premises of the Bumper Sticker Process, that clarifying our intention magnetizes and draws us to it.

Thanks.

Thank you for the clip.

Ed,

I now engage in a system of weight loss, where my intention is to allow my feelings to be experienced while regulating my food intake. I find food is a vehicle that keeps feelings bound up inside. I also find that excessive weight creates additional feelings of stress, which, in turn, requires additional food to further distract and avoid these new feelings, causing a self reinforcing cycle that also is compounding, creating knots within knots.

To break this pattern, I limit my food intake and learn to experience my feelings, including their positive intentions. When I feel stressed, I often go for an hour long walk to the park instead of a walk to the refrigerator. I find by the time I return, much of the feelings dissipate or are gone entirely. I feel my life becomes more organized and productive as a result. I feel more energized and alive as well. So far, my weight loss results in a reduction of many belt sizes. If agreeable, I intend, on a regular basis, to provide updates on my progress and invite any suggestions or comments from you or your Tribe readers.

Thank you for sharing your process.

I am still working on it.

OK.

Chief Ed,

The FAQ response to my earlier send on disequilibrium is focused on trading vs. fading.

My send on disequilibrium is really about individuals, not markets composed of individuals.

Assuming everything adds up to zero strongly supports the idea of [Bliss = Zero Point].

I believe that dis-equilibriums are often perceived as 'opportunities' by entrepreneurs, and traders alike.

For example, assume the natural equilibrium state of human beings is the blissful Zero Point state. (This TTP name is very telling)

Further, define disequilibrium as a difference of potential in the emotional energy balance in any one individual.

My model states that dis-equilibriums attract neutralizing forces, in effect an "agent or conduit, or channel" that helps to vanquish the difference of potential and release the stored energy.

In my view, this difference of potential is what creates and attracts TTP. The difference of potential or "demand" for TTP is created by incompetent parenting, lack of understanding, lack of attention, etc. The result is disequilibrium in the forms of emotional immaturity, emotional sickness and "stuckness".

TTP is a neutralizer of the difference of potential , which entrains an equilibrium (blissful, "Zero Point") state in individuals.

You yourself say:

Ed's ultimate intention for The Trading Tribe

and for TTP

is for people to experience it,

and for it to disappear

and become just another passing AHA.

Thank you for sharing your views.

Hot Seat Receiving

Chief Ed,

I have a very specific question about TTP Hot Seat receiving.

If the Sender is verbalizing, and it it clear to skilled Receiver that this is engaging CM, what are some of the most effective techniques to disengage Sender's CM and get him back on task, in terms of freely pumping feelings from Fred to CM?

I know from reading FAQ (and some experience) that story-telling occurs early in the Hot Seat experience, and later, some forms of Sender verbalizing do not totally engage CM.

My question refers to the "non-story, late-in-Hot-Seat" verbalizations that engage CM and effectively reduce potential of Hot Seat Sender to get to Zero Point.

Skillful receivers might consider encouraging the sender to go more into verbal expression.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Sadness

Dear Ed,

Yesterday, I wake up in the middle of the night overcome by sadness. I feel I mess up my life, I have no skill, no talents, I am not able to support my family, I disappoint myself, and I waste my time with ridiculous dreams of big things and do nothing about it.

The market opens and I'm greeted with an gap through stop-loss and as I note in my trade journal I feel "sadness; failure, loser". I hate this feeling and don't want to keep it around long enough to find it's positive intention. I consciously notice myself shutting down, drifting into "nowhere land"- so much easier that way. I catch myself medicating. I keep the feeling, though I am not able to enjoy it. In fact I really hate it.

Today I feel clearer, yet still shaken by such overwhelmingly strong feelings of sadness and sorrow. I review the systems testing I complete yesterday (where I achieve a MAR of 0.80 over 26 years back-testing, using a combination of TSP's Exponential Averaging and Support / Resistance systems for futures). The tests are correct, not "all wrong - faulty formula" as I scribbled on my notes yesterday.

I have an "aha". Though my career choice is no longer right livelihood, I realize there was a blissful time when I feel right livelihood in it. Right livelihood evolves as I grow.

Best,
PS: I notice a left handed friend is taken aback by the term "right livelihood". I think of the Italian word for "left", "sinistra".

Thank you for sharing your process.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Dear Ed

Following on from my contribution Monday 23rd of March your title Father and Son.

In the link below the title you typed previoius when I think you meant previous. I hate to point these things out but I think you like to know and then change them.

Since the last contribution I leave working for my Dad.

Feelings this brings up:

1. Anger that he doesn't try to stop me and that he can't see what I feel I can see; that he is being used by the people the other two people he employs.

2. Sadness that I'll see less of him in the future, I love a lot of the time we spend together and I miss him already.

3. Guilt that he will have to carry out much of the manual tasks himself with me gone. I tell myself it is his job to replace me if he wishes so I shouldn't feel guilty but I do.

4. Lightness that I am not 'responsible' for the business anymore, to accept it will take the course he intends for it and that it is beyond my control.

5. Fear that I have no income and have to build my own life from scratch.

This coincides with my long term girlfriend leaving her job after accepting she doesn't enjoy it and anticipating that that won't change.

We are worried about our financial short term but strangely not by our financial fate for the longer term. I feel that by defining what we want we are already closer to achieving it.

Below is a brief list that provide the framework for the life I want to lead. My belief is that my long term girlfriend shares these ideals and we will achieve them together.

1. We will work by ourselves for ourselves.

2. We will work from home with an office in the house.

3. We will be able to drop our children (when they come along!) at school and collect them each day if we choose.

4. We will be able to take two weeks away from work at Christmas, one at Easter and three weeks over the summer if we choose.

5. We will only spend 50% of our income.

6. We will not borrow to buy anything other than a house.

7. We will support each other whilst remaining independant.

8. We will not compare what we own to other people.

9. We will build for the long term whilst enjoying the short term.

Now they are down on paper we take steps to realising them. I am trying to find the courage to print them and stick them on the fridge for all to see but for now I feel cautious to make open these feelings to everyone.

Once they are posted I will place a link to them on my 'favourites' to keep me reminded what I have set out to achieve. I fully expect now for other people to overtake me financially and for the first time in years I am OK with it. They are just doing what they want and I am doing what I want. Both are valid choices and we can learn from each other. Maybe freeing myself from the dramas of the past ten years will lead to financial abundance through trading.

On a side issue I don't drink alcohol for six weeks and my depressions eases.

Kind regards and thanks.

Thank you for sharing your process.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

IVTT Hot Seat

I take the hot seat at IVTT on Thursday. My issue is my relationship with my father whose approval I try, vainly, to win all my life. In particular, my father downplays my achievements and offers irrelevant advice on subjects he understands poorly. Ed notes that my problem lies not so much in my father's unsolicited advice, as in my judgement on the anger I feel about this advice. Ed asks if I'm willing to experience the judgement. I have some difficulty with that. Ed explains his notion of a stack of judges. He asks if I'm willing to experience the judgement on the judgement. A judgement on the judgement on the judgement on the anger feels pretty ridiculous, and I start laughing. Ed asks how I feel about the original judgement, and it seems as ridiculous. So does my father's advice. Puff.

On Saturday my wife and I are getting ready to go to a picnic with friends. We are late, and she complains that I'm dragging my feet. I feel annoyed at her hurrying me. I say, honey, can you hurry me some more? Then it hits me. I actually enjoy being hurried! My mother does that to me when I'm a child, and I marry a woman who does the same thing. The only problem is that I also think it's bad. The judgement disappears. As we drive to the picnic, I keep asking my wife to hurry me some more. I laugh so hard, she asks if I'm hysterical.

By Sunday, our relationship is under stress. My wife wonders if I'm mad. She says she wants to leave me and go back to her home country. I say that I feel great sadness at her decision, but I support her in it. She says IVTT must be some sort of cult, that I must be mocking her and she wants the old me back. I consider calling Ed and asking him to process us over the phone.

By Tuesday things calm down and we find a new level in our relationship. I still laugh and ask her to hurry me up. I notice a new lightness about us. We enjoy our walks in the park more, and we laugh together.

200411251546120.rudypoop.jpg

QQQQ,SPY,DIA,TLT,UDN&comment_start=21

As I understand it, stimulus packages are like trying to cure drug addiction by giving more drugs to the patient.

Whatever I hear some people comparing this to something like or worse than the 30's. I wonder if you've got a Dynamic Feedback System Model simulation to understand the relationship between economic crises, social unrest and wars.

Yes, I have a number of Models that deal with the socio-economic behavior.

After the dentist was finished we had a really pleasant conversation while walking to the appointment desk to schedule the next visit and she stayed and we talked for awhile. Before I just got out of there as fast as I could. I felt I connected with them as human beings today and enjoyed my visit. WOW what a difference. Thank

-jokes-1.jpg

watch?v=MAdJLLmpWBU&feature=channel_page

Thank you for the link.

archives/23600.html

Thank you for the link.

Good Morning Ed,

After reviewing your recent FAQ posts I saw somebody looking for other traders in the Seattle area. I recently moved up to Seattle and I want to meet new people. Would you mind giving them my email address? Thank you.

Sincerely,

I do not otherwise reveal personal information.

leo+buscaglia&hl=en

Thank you for the link.

Thank you for the links.  I can identify with his material.