part of my check-in this evening, I’d like to record it and transcribe
it and post it on the web, to continue to honor my commitment to
document this work - into some kind of a book and to make this work
available to a much wider audience.
thing I’d like to talk about is my experience of visiting the [Name]
Tribe meeting last week – they have four very enthusiastic members.
meeting starts at seven o’clock, and goes on until 1:30 AM – since
they have lots and lots of questions for me about how I conduct meetings
- and all five of us take our turn on the Hot Seat.
just sit back for about a half hour and watch and listen – I notice
some of the methods they use and eventually I suggest some ways they can
change their methods to get better results.
derive the methods they are using from material on the web-site and from
other tribes – and one of the very noticeable things they do - is they
keep asking the sender “how do you feel.”
has a result of making Hot Seat keep de-briefing his experience to the
group – he has to keep going back into his head (CM – Conscious
Mind) in order to inform all the other members – so he never really
gets very deep into his experience.
just watching for about a half hour, I decide to suggest, “Don’t do
that anymore. Just notice
when the sender is feeling something and just encourage him somehow,
without doing anything to distract him.
You can tell by his expression, his posture, his voice, that he’s
into something - so just encourage him to go for it. Just cheer
they try that and when they see something come across the sender’s
face, they just cheer him on - it is much more effective – the sender
can get much deeper into his issue – the receivers support a much
deeper experience by just encouraging him and not demanding that he give
them a progress readout.
example, one of the members is on the Hot Seat and his issue is about
having trouble marketing his system.
he talks about it, he starts idly tapping his fingertips on the end of
the arm on his chair. We pick up
on that and encourage him to tap more, to tap harder, to get into the
experience of tapping – all without asking him anything about what he
is doing or feeling.
tries to crank up the tapping for a moment and then stops.
I ask him if he is willing to experience the tapping and he says,
“No. Not really.”
take the “no” as just a normal part of the process – just some or
another judge who is judging the tapping – and I want to help him
experience that judge. So I
ask him if he is willing to experience the “no” – to experience
whatever feeling is telling him he does not want to experience the
says, “OK,” and locates the judge. It's a feeling on the back of his
wrists – so we naturally encourage him to just go ahead experience the
feeling on the back of his wrists.
he does that for while and then stops – he is not willing to
experience that judge either. So
we are now looking for the next judge in the stack of judges – we are
looking for the feeling that tells him he is unwilling to experience the
judge on the back of his wrists.
judge lives in his chest. This is very typical - people generally carry
a stack of judges. This time, he is very willing to experience the chest
judge so it disappears pretty quickly.
Then, since that judge is gone, he is willing to experience the
back of the wrists, and then the tapping.
we finally get all these things out. And they pretty much disappear –
although there is still some residual hesitation – and so we track
that for a while and find there is a kind of generic feeling of “I
don't want to do it.” This
feeling seems to include saying the phrase, “I don’t want to do it,”
as well as some other tensions in his body – so we encourage him to
say the phrase over and over as part of experiencing the feeling.
“I don’t want to do it,” seems to come alive, with a
life of it’s own so we keep encouraging him to get into it.
you get used to TTP, you find out you almost always come around to “I
don’t want to do it.” The
nature of stuck feelings is that the feelings that run your life are the
feelings you don’t want to feel. So the path to freedom almost always
passes through the feeling of “I don’t want to do it.”
this place, the unwillingness point, you just encourage Hot Seat to feel
it anyway. With experience,
he knows this is how the process works and a reminder is all he needs to
steel up for it and go though to completion.
With enough experience he knows that the rewards are so enormous
that he develops a strong taste for the work.
Still, when you are in the Hot Seat and up against the feeling
you are so used to avoiding, the work is just plain hard, even with
essential process, the heart of TTP is converting the “I don’t want
to do it,” wherever it is, into an ally, by jumping into it and being
willing to feel it. In the
process, the feeling turns from an adversary into an ally and both the
sender and receiver gain enormous freedom and power.
feelings that we don’t want to experience run us, and what we do in
TTP is to help each other to experience feelings that we don’t want
we are always doing something we don’t want to do. Experiencing “I
don’t want to do it” is the essential work.
the moment of now, in TTP, experiencing the stuck feeling is always a
choice. On the one hand, the stuck feeling is just another feeling, and
the goal is to experience it, to disappear it, and to grow.
On the other hand, the feeling is, literally, “I don’t want
to do it,” and may lead the drama of abandoning the process.
TTP we do whatever we can to invite and encourage the sender to
experience his feeling of “I don’t want to do it.”
Ultimately, if he is stuck, we can present him with the essential
choice. You can do the work or
you can sell out to the feeling.
makes all the difference in the world.
In trading, you can stay with your position and just experience
your feelings, or you can sell out to your resistance and lose your
position. It all depends on
your level of commitment. If
you really commit to your system, you stick with it and just handle your
feelings. It’s the same
with TTP. If you really commit to it, you just move through your
feelings, and never quit.
you have enough commitment to stay in a position and honor method, no
matter what the market does, then you can do OK in the long run.
Once you start selling out to your resistance to feelings, you
are in chaos, running your trading by the feelings you are unwilling to
choice is always there, and if you have commitment, you simply chose to
stay with the process and work on your feelings.
TTP helps a lot in this way, since it is great technology to help
you get through your feelings.
our Tribe (Incline Village) our members know that the more we help Hot
Seat, the stronger and clearer he gets, and the more he can help us the
next time around.
back to the story, Hot Seat eventually comes around and says he is,
after all, really willing to go with his feeling of “I don’t want to
do it,” and he jumps into it and his face starts to get tense and he
in right into the battle.
he experiences this, his hands start up again with the tapping on the
ends of the arms of his chair. We
cheer him on and he intensifies the tapping and then the anger starts to
come out. The hands clench
up and form fists and start to pound the arms of the chair. We encourage him to keep going for it and he starts punching
the air in front of him, as if someone were in front of him. As he
continues experiencing the feeling, it dissipates and disappears and he
seems to let it go.
starts to get in touch with something very real that associates with the
feelings – he has a trading system and he just can’t market it –
he does not want to be a salesman and he does not want to market it -
and it turns out he recalls his Uncle telling him that he cannot break
into the investment world and can’t get an investor interested in
opening an account.
recalls that his uncle is not a very good sales man and not a very good
businessman, and not someone he wants to carry around in his
subconscious as an advisor.
recalls carrying his uncle around for years - and not being able to make
a defiant fist (due to the wrist judge) and unable to experience the
anger – so all these feelings and his uncle get locked up inside him
as a (k)not of stuck feelings.
he finally experiences all this, it all disappears and what’s left
over is a totally different guy – he is all excited to get on the road
with his sales stuff and present it to all kinds of people.
He is not worried about being accepted or not – he says he sees
some people liking his method and some not liking it and it doesn’t
really matter that much – he sees himself hooking up with the right
people. All his fear and
hesitation about sales are gone.
turning point in his process is to experience “I don’t want to do
it.” This is always the
case in TTP. This is a big
difference between TTP and other forms of “therapy” such as NLP and
talk therapy. These methods
intend to “fix” the feeling, or change it, or work around it.
Instead of trying to fix, avoid or change our feelings, in TTP we just
jump into them and experience them.
seat's whole organizing principle is right here in the now, right there
in his chest, as a feeling of “I don’t want to do it.”
don’t try to fix the feeling or make it go away or figure ways to work
around it or suppress it. We
realize the feeling is something we really do want to experience. We
want to re-awaken our ability to experience it, to re-frame it from an
adversary into an ally.
is the essential difference between this work and traditional medicine.
We hold that the symptom is actually the cure, crying out to be
is no way to do this work on your own.
You simply cannot do this by yourself.
You have a lifetime of deeply knowing that you do not like to
experience your stuck feelings. Your whole life revolves around avoiding a few key feelings
and so trying to jump into TTP all by yourself is to jump into the
middle of your strongest resistance.
It takes a Tribe to hold the line and to provide enough
encouragement to get to through to the other side.
service we provide for each other is a hold the line and to encourage,
no matter what comes up – and to develop willingness to experience our
feelings, in the now. That’s the route to freedom, the real path out
of the matrix.
thing that I recall from the [Name] Tribe is that one of the people in
the group asks me to sign a twenty-dollar bill.
One side has signatures on it.
The other side has a statement, something like, “Since I like
$20 bills, I’m going to
accumulate a million of these by [certain date].”
ask him what that means and he says it is the Hardball Process so I give
the $20 a pretty close look. I
notice some things about it that don’t really fit in with the official
his goal is ambiguous; that is, it is not clear that he actually wants a
stack of one million $20 bills – it might be that he wants
$20,000,000. It is just not
clear. It is also not clear
what contract the people who sign the bill agree to honor.
there is no “snapshot.” A snapshot is a clear image that does not move.
It is sharp and vivid enough that people know what it is right
away, without any further explanation. And it is now. His “I’m
going to accumulate …” is a process, somewhere off in the future,
not a snapshot, in the now. In
the TT Workshop, we typically take about three hours to develop
snapshots to a degree of clarity sufficient to support the rest of the
the Hardball Process is an inter-weaving process in which people support
each other in removing obstacles between them and their snapshots.
my experience of the [Name] Tribe is that they are all very enthusiastic
and committed to the work and are trying to pick up how to do it from
the web and by talking to others from other Tribes. They report very
good results from what they are already doing and they seem to think
that some of the techniques I share with them make the work much more
efficient and deeper.
also recall hearing about meetings they have in restaurants, with
waiters and waitresses milling around.
I am amazed. There just seems to be no way Hot Seat could really let go
emotionally in a public place, without having to keep a lid on things,
or risk alarming the restaurant staff.
real service we provide for each other it to help set each other free.
As we develop willingness to experience our feelings, we convert our
stuck feelings from adversaries to allies, and as we get on the path of
right livelihood we realize our potential as unique human beings.
that’s my check-in for tonight – and another step for me along the
path of keeping my commitment to get this work out to a wider audience.
About one second after this check in, various Tribe Members point
out that my check-in is almost entirely absent any of my own personal
feelings. I receive lots of
“hmmm’s and ahem’s” and other forms of approbation for my
clever way of avoiding talking about my own real experience during
check-in. In a flash, they
are all over me, like bees on honey, with, “OK, maybe you’d like to
try your check-in again, this time with some feeling in it.”
I am on the Hot Seat myself, digging deep into my own feelings and
tensions, and back on the path to freedom.